Adriana's Notebook

Chapter 8

I walked into the library after having breakfast. I sat at the same spot, with the same book and began to read with the same feelings...hurt...
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3 June

It has been a few weeks since I moved back to the apartment building. I couldn't handle staying with the boys especially with Xavier around so I told them I wanted my own apartment. It broke their hearts but they agreed and so I moved in across the hall.

It wasnt as big as the penthouse. That is a joke. It looks like a shoebox compared to the penthouse. But it was perfect. Perfect for me.

The apartment was open plan with big glass wall windows a fully equipped kitchen, thanks to the boys, and there was one bedroom and bathroom and a walk in closet.

I hardly go to the penthouse and when I do I only stay in the kitchen with Olga and Carlo. They gave me a sense of peace; you know a peace that had nothing to do with the mafia. A peace that was...

Normal...

That word seemed foreign to me since I met the guys and found out about my family. Before I had a normal life. A simple one.

I missed it. Alot.

"Are you alright, mia Adriana?" Carlo asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I am fine, just thinking." I said a distantly.

"Don't worry Adriana everythjng will be okay." Carlo said in his thick italian accent. "Remember there is always sunshine after a storm."

"Yeah...well this storm is neverending." I mumbled but he heard and let out a hearty laugh.

"Just don't worry too much." He smiled before going back to cooking the boys' dinner.

I sighed and got back to my thoughts...

🖤🖤🖤🖤

I was on my way to the library. I had completely forgotten that I hid my diary  in there last week to help the boys with picking out paint colours for the gym. They were renovating and making it better.

I walked into the library and got my book but I didn't notice one thing... he was there...

He stood by the window, his back to me. He looked so... perfect.

By perfect I mean, the perfect and proper mafia man. He stood with his shoulders squared and his arms clasped behind his back.

The air around him just breathe power and dominance. That was the air in the penthouse. It was not a home. It didn't feel like it anymore...

I would have said something but I knew if I did it would be something that I didn't mean.

After all this time trying to avoid him it came to an end but it was not how I expected it to be.

I thought I would break down but I didn't, I just stood there, staring at him.

Turn around.

I chanted in my mind. I wanted to at least see his face. Just one glimpse I would be fine but no he just stood there.

I shook my head and walked straight out the library, not once looking back.

I marched straight past my brothers and out the door to my apartment. I got in and locked the door behind me.

I went to the cupboard and took out a bottle of wine. I walked to the window seat and sat down with my bottle in hand readying myself to drown in my pain.