poison and blood 。 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔳𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔢 𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰

008 ─── melancholy .

poison and blood
008  ───  melancholy .

" i'm done being polite "

anastasia's view

             𝔓erhaps the music could distract me from reality, from what I had done. Perhaps it could drown out the worries, and the fear, and replace it all with a sense of carelessness that resembled being drunk, or high. A sense of carelessness that I longed for; that I hadn't had since... since a long time ago. That's why I listened to the music pounding through my earphones into my ears like it would fix everything, even though I knew it would do nothing. Yet, I couldn't help but hope that the lyrics in the song would tell me an answer, or the orchestra in the background would betray it. They wouldn't, though.

What song could tell me what to do about Damon Salvatore? How could anyone, or anything, possibly tell me what to do about the rogue vampire in town, who almost killed Vicki Donovan last night. The most important thing to focus on was that Vicki was safe, and far away from everything that was going on. I couldn't help but want the same for myself. But even though she was safe, who was next? Who would be the next victim of the mysterious, yet dangerous Damon, who somehow drew me in and pushed me away at the same time?

And then there was the matter of Stefan Salvatore, the other half to the vampire brothers that turned my life around and twisted it upside down. The younger, more caring brother that seemingly had feelings for me that, for the life of me, I could not return. Perhaps it was because the accident had made me a loveless void incapable of feeling anything other than a persistent need to keep my siblings safe, or maybe it was simply because Stefan truly was a friend to me, more than anything else. Regardless, I couldn't banish the image of Stefan's disappointed, shot down face out of my mind as I closed the door in his face.

There was one other question I knew I would never find the answer to, I felt it in my bones. The question of why I was so... attracted to the world of the supernatural. Why was I so drawn in to the magic of witches, and the danger of vampires? Instead of repelling me, like it would most people, it drew me in, sending adrenaline through my veins at the thought of it. It was my drug.

The music did nothing for the thoughts that pressed against the forefront of my mind, sending me into a deep train of thought that made the walk to school flash by as if it hadn't happened at all. The only thing that finally managed to snap me out of my reverie was Bonnie, who ran up to me as soon as I walked on school grounds.

I pulled my earbuds out, looking at my friend questioningly as she ran up to me, her eyes alight and persistent. "Ana!" she exclaimed, stopping next to me.

"Yeah, what's up?" Normally, I would have lightened the situation with a sarcastic comment such as 'who died,' but after all of the events in the last few days, I was slightly scared that it might be true.