Silence ||Twenty One Pilots AU||

eye contact

Silence. Silence is always awkward. It always means something is wrong, because it is an attempt to hide it.

We had been sitting there for about an hour at the café and he hadn't spoken a word. His face was downcast, his arms wrapped around his sides in an attempt to shrink into himself. He had been my best friend for years, but he still tried to hide the pain from me. He always wore sweatshirts. Today wasn't any different. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen him wear short sleeves. Occasionally I could see him trembling, as if he was afraid of something.

I had attempted to get a hold of my friend for weeks. He had randomly disappeared and refused to answer my calls. When he finally did, I begged him to meet me at this grimy café and, thankfully, he obliged.

He was my best friend. His lack of communication greatly worried me. We used to not go a day without talking to each other, so when he refused to answer me for weeks, I knew something was wrong.

"Tyler?"

He didn't budge. Refused to talk. I had ordered his food for him but he refused to eat it. He just sat there staring at it, his arms still wrapped around himself. I wished I could see what was going on in his mind. I wanted so desperately to help him, but he wouldn't let me, and that made me feel worthless.

Eventually I gave up on trying to talk to him. I ate my pancakes in silence, keeping my eyes on him the whole time, wishing I had mind-reading powers or something like it.

Time continued to pass, and soon I was done eating. After the waitress took my plate, I continued watching my friend. Then the thing I had hoped for the whole time came to pass; he lifted his head slightly and his red, puffy, blood-shot eyes locked onto mine. I was right. My friend wasn't okay. All I got was a short gaze from him that day, but as I was leaving the café and the look he gave me burned into my mind, I could see the hurt he was hiding from me. I still didn't know what exactly was going on, but my fears were confirmed.

***

Sitting. Just... sitting. Why is it so hard to just sit there and do nothing? He didn't understand why he sat there quietly when in his mind silence didn't exist. There wasn't a moment in his own thoughts that he wasn't criticizing himself for something. Not a moment passed where he didn't despise himself .Not a moment passed where he didn't think about going back home, back to that hell hole, back to the devil that lived in his house. He feared it.

Yet he still embraced the silence as he watched his best friend leave.

He hated himself. He didn't want Josh to leave. The short time they spent just sitting there was the safest he had ever felt. He wanted to scream when he started to walk away. He wanted to cry and bury his head in his best friend's chest and tell him everything he had been hiding. But he was petrified and feared he would be a nuisance. He still chose to stay silent. Silence was safe. Silence was what he was comfortable with and soon the moment had passed. Tyler was left in the booth all alone. Only the memory of Josh's concerned face kept him going as he started the long, dreaded drive home accompanied by tears and the knowledge of what he would face when he got there.