A Sellout's Heart

thank you

hello everyone,
this is jade.

i would first like to express my extreme gratitude to all of you, my followers, my readers, my friends. i would like to thank you guys for supporting me and my stories; to thank you for leaving such supportive messages for me, encouraging me to go on; to thank you for giving me the most beautiful advices; to thank you for being there for me when i needed you all; to thank you for just being you; to thank you for being my friends.

you have all contributed so much to my life that i cannot even express my feelings into words. words are not even enough.

you have been there for me since my first story, Waiting for You; you have been there for me since A Sellout's Heart; you have been there for me since Storm Warning; you have been there for me since I'm With You.

you have all be there for me since the beginning, you have all be there for me ever since my depression phase, you have all be there for me period.

and for that, thank you.

last year and this year has be super rough for me. from my depression to my last year of high school. and yet you all continued to stand by me.

i hope you continue to stand by me until the very end.

with this being said, i have come to the decision to discontinue my books. yes, every single one of them.

i will not, however, be giving them to another author to finish them for me. they will be simply staying up on my profile.

my stories will have no concrete end. but if you want to know how i imagined them to end, please do not hesitate to dm me and ask all the questions you would like. i would be more than happy to answer them.

now, i decided to discontinue my books because i felt that they were a part of me that i wanted to leave behind. cheesy right?

i have to admit, i lost interest.

not in writing, but in the topic.

yes, wrestling and WWE.

i probably will get bashed now, won't i?
i am sincerely sorry for this sudden confession.

cue the excuses...

i have to say that when i first started writing these books, i was a fairly young teen with no experience in writing whatsoever. i was around 14-16 years old i believe.

Now i am 18 years old.

I have graduated high school.

And now going off to university to study psychology.

looking back, i now find it so funny that i was so fixated in not going to college, enrolling in a wrestling school, and debuting as one of the top female wrestlers in WWE. such a badass dream for a 15 year old huh?

but now, i want to college, i want to study psychology, i want to pursue an occupation regarding psychology.

considering my depression phase, psychology seems like a pretty good match right?

with my time away from wattpad, i came to the realization that my life is not meant to be revolving around wrestling, and (please do not become offended) just a childish dream.

i am not condemning any of you who wish to pursue a career in the wrestling field. if you really feel that wrestling is for you, and your heart is calling for it, by all means go for it. you have my endless support.

it is just, the young jade was too clouded by my silly wrestling obsession to realize what my true calling was.

just because my interest in wrestling faded, doesn't mean i don't respect it. i have the utmost respect for it. especially since the young jade wanted to be a part of it.

what i am trying to say is people change. people grow up. and people will lose interest.

i was young and wrote these stories to coincide with my wrestling obsession. now i am older and much more mature.

my decision to discontinue my books is me saying goodbye to wrestling and letting go.

sometimes, all we have to do is let go.

with that being said, i am letting go of my past life and starting over.

i will, however, keep my account and possibly still interact with all of you. after all, you all are my family.

my one wish is that you continue to support me through this and continue to show me so much love like you have been doing before.

i do not want our relationship to change. that is my only favor from you guys.

writing stories for all of you, and for myself, has been such a joy and will always be imprinted in my mind and heart.

another thing.

"jade" is actually a pen name of mine.

jade amelia holland is sort of a mixture of what my parents wanted to name me plus a few other creative aspects to it.

i prefer not to share my actual name. I hope you all would respect that. and since you've all known me as jade, confusing you guys with my real name would just be a struggle.

i am simply just jade :)

i have learned so much from you all, and all i can really say is thank you.

thank you so much.

i hope to hear from you all soon.

with love,
jade a. holland