Lacuna// Thomas Shelby

XVIII

I stood in the snug in the Garrison, waiting for everyone to get here. It was 3 in the morning and I had just gotten back from the train station, I was tired, angry and hurt. I sat in the booth, freezing cold, hoping by change someone would blow up the pub and I wouldn't have to worry anymore. Everyone came into the snug, John complained about the time, Arthur made a joke, Finn just groaned, Polly said something snarky and Michael just handed me his jacket. I smiled and nodded towards him. I stared at all the people who made my family and I let a tear slip down my face.

"I got a telegram yesterday morning." I said throwing the piece of paper down on the table, letting everyone read it. "I was planning on going to see Ada and James, have a weekend where I could take my mind of Thomas Shelby for a night. But that came along and me being stupid actually went, I got on my train and I met Alfie at the train station." I said and Arthur sat up straight along with John. I wiped a tear from my eye but it just made more fall. " Alfie drove me to a big house, just outside of London, there was a house on either side and they were well lit up so felt safe. He left me at the door and drove away, he was really sweet and very nice but he just left me at this random house. I walked in and checked one of the room, then I got to the second one." I said, at this point I was sobbing, I didn't know why but I was just sobbing, John had his hand on my knee and I took a deep breathe.

"What happened Soph." Pol said sitting next to me, taking my hand in her own.

"At first I thought I was dreaming, I thought there was no way he could be standing there."
I sobbed out and John removed his hand from my knee and Polly held my hand tighter and I just looked at Arthur, pain in my eyes. "But there he fucking was, Thomas Fucking Shelby." I whispered his name.

***

I refused to leave my house, I refused to see anyone, I refused to eat and I refused to even talk to Arthur. I was in pain, more pin that you could no.

Imagine thinking, the love of your life was dead, you mourn and you feel numb for a week, you feel betrayed and hurt. Only to find out he's been alive and living in a massive big fucking house outside of London. After he told you he wouldn't break you're heart. I was pissed but mostly hurt. So I didn't see the point in leaving my house. Polly came but a couple times a day, Arthur came by maybe once a day, John comes everyone few hours and even Finn and Michael come by.

I felt horrible for not letting them in, or telling them to go away but I'd rather take my anger and hurt out on myself than the people I love. So I sat in my bathtub, the water a bit hotter than usual, tears streaming down my face and the newspaper in my hand. I just read the newspaper while crying, not really sure why I'm crying but I am.

After a while I eventually got out, pulling on some clothes and sitting on my couch in my living room, there was a knock at the door and I stood up and looked through the curtains out of the window and down at the door. Arthur and John stood and I sighed. I opened the window and peeked my head out.

"What's going on?" I asked and they both looked up at me.

"Can you come with us somewhere? Just for a few hours, it's to do with business in that nightclub in London." Arthur said and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I'll be down in a few." I said and they both just smiled and nodded, looking at each other.

"The only reason I'd agree is because I help with the profits from the nightclub, also they both aren't talking to Tommy which means they aren't tricking me." I grabbed my coat and walked outside and we got into the car, I was tired and not really in the mood but if it's important. John and Arthur both pulled me into separate hugs and I just lightly hugged them back.

"So what's going on?" I asked John took a moment before answering.

"There's been some trouble in London lately with the Peaky blinders, some people are dishing out names and one of them is yours." John said and I just sighed. Great that meant another fight, in the nightclub we just got done up since the last fight. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, it's all fun and games until somebody dies for real.