14 Dad - From Musa

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Dear Dad,

This is the picture of me (a drawing). And I know you love me, and I love you too. Come and see me soon.

Your son,
Musa.

I never wanted to give this to Brad or let alone him know I had a son. Musa was mine and mine alone. I am not ready to share him with a Zionist. But I couldn't stop myself when I saw Brad cry. We Palestinians have seen so much pain, we recognize pain just like I understood his pain.

He didn't deny Musa was his. He couldn't as my son looked exactly the image of Brad. And that upset him more than anything I believe. Not knowing a son existed plus having him look just like himself.

But the real shock came, when Brad offered to bring down the man who shot my son. I wasn't expecting anything from him even after the confession. But when he offered to help, I couldn't stop myself. What if I can really bring some relief to my people? What if Brad can help me bring some relief to my people?

So, I went in and got him the box where I have safely stored all of Musa's memories. First, I gave him the letter which was written in Arabic. Brad spoke Arabic, I know. He was talking to me in Arabic the first time we met. And he read the letter and I again saw tears streaming down his cheeks while he struggle to compose himself.

Then I showed him some drawings of Musa. There was one in which he drew me, himself and his imaginary father. It broke my heart to see those pics and I couldn't stop crying myself. Brad looked at that drawing for a long time.

"Can I keep this and the letter, please?" he asked me.

"I'll give it to you but not today. I am still not able to part with what little he had. Please" that was the truth. Brad might feel sentimental now and offer help but when he get married or some woman come in to his life, these memories I live by everyday will become less significant to him. So they are better off with me.

"He wrote that letter to me. It belongs to me" he said stubbornly.

"But it isn't important to you as it is for me. In time to come it will be much less important to you where as I could sacrifice anything to just keep these memories" I told him finally.

He laughed.

"I don't blame you for thinking like that. You don't know me. Who do you think Hanson is? And what do you think will come of me if they get to know I was ready to help them?"

Seriously, I didn't know. So I looked at him.

"He runs the torture programs, prisons and the intel. Messing with him is like messing with the system in place, and sooner or latter when they find out I was part of it, my fate wont be different from yours" he said looking at me intensely.

"So, you are risking your life to bring down this man?" that didn't sound right.

"I am bringing him down to have justice for my son. There is more to this story. I will figure it out" he said and continued "Also keep low. I want both of us alive until I see this through"

He opened then the album of Musa and myself. I didn't know there were pics of my without hijab until it was too late. I tried to take the album but Brad didn't let me.

"He has your smile, you know. Look at him, Gosh. He was a beautiful child. Wasn't he? Look at this pic, he looks just like me" he kept looking at the album with child like enthusiasm. And he took some pics from his smart phone. He took the pics of drawings, some photos of me and Musa and everything he found fascinating which is almost everything.

After he was done, he was looking pale and again I can see the trembling in his body. Either he is angry or sad.

"I am sorry for what I did" he finally said and we both knew what he meant. How am I to answer for something like that?

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