Desire Like Fire

Chapter Three: Self Discovery

I could hear that someone was beating on the door, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up and answer it. He was shot? Daddy had been shot? It didn't sound right. He was in the hospital and my mother didn’t think she had enough time to get me from my late night swim? I would've dropped everything and gone with her and she knew that. It was almost like she wanted me to stay here. At that thought I began to wonder if she saw me with Novian. Please tell me she didn’t see me with Novian. That would be embarrassing. Most importantly please let my father be okay. If she was leaving me she could’ve let me know something other than he’d be okay. She could've left more than a note. I definitely wasn’t going to be able to get my mind off of it now. I wasn’t going to be able to sleep a wink until I found out if he was okay or not. The tears were coming harder as I realized I could’ve just had my last night with him and we spent it with him laughing at me. I didn’t want him to leave me. He was mines and he was meant to stay here with me. He was going to quit his job and stay here with us. I was never letting him out of here again. I was a mess as the tears flowed endlessly down my cheeks. I needed my daddy.

I needed him to tell my secrets too.

I needed him just to be there.

I needed him just because he was my daddy and there was so much left that he needed to teach me about, to tell me about.

I just needed my daddy and there was nothing anyone could say that would tell me otherwise.

I was so caught up within myself that I hadn’t noticed I wasn’t alone until I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me into an embrace. From the knotted feeling in my gut I knew that those arms belonged to Novian. He was warm and his shirt was soft and he smelled of men’s body wash. For a second I felt bad because I was crying and blowing snot bubbles all over his shirt. I tried to pull away, but he only pulled me closer to him. I gave up and snuggled into him further as I continued to cry. It was a sense of comfort that I desperately needed at this moment and I was glad he was here to give it to me. Neither of us said anything as he helped me to my feet and led us to my room. I was quiet as I grabbed me some pajamas and headed to the shower. I cried some more while in there, maybe not as hard, but there were still many tears.

I just wanted my daddy to be okay. I wanted him home already.

Once I was done I forced myself to go through the struggle of maintaining my hair. I didn’t want Novian to see what it would look like after a swim and a fresh wash. He’d go running like a bat out of hell. I stopped braiding my hair into two braids when I realized just how selfish I was being. Daddy was in the hospital and here I was sitting here worried about being presentable for Novian. What was wrong with me? Sighing I finished my braids and put on some nighttime lotion before heading back to my room. To my surprise Novian was still there, but now he was shirtless. I blushed as I realized it was probably because of me. No it was definitely because he shirt had been used as my snot rag.

“Princess you scared me.” He sighed as he pulled me down on side of him.

“I’m sorry?” I asked more than stated not quite sure what it was that I had done.

“I had just got out of the shower, finished getting dress and was in the kitchen fixing me a late night snack when I realized that I had left the door opened in my haste to get inside. Luckily we live in such a safe neighborhood because we could’ve been robbed blind. I left the door wide opened.” He paused to laugh. “Anyways, this warm breeze comes in through the door just as I’m about to close it and it’s carrying the most gut wrenching scream that I've ever heard on its back. When I realized that scream came from your house I rushed right over. I pounded on the door, but no one answered. Then I got this bright idea to just twist the knob and there you were crying in the middle of the floor. Mind telling me exactly what happened that turned you into the banshee from hell?”