useless(markyong/taemark)

7

MARK POV

everything went pitched black after that...i couldn't lied that i felt shocked when taeyong said it. saying he is a murderer. how could someone with a perfect and beautiful figure like him killed someone. it must had been an accident. and no matter what i will be there for him.fighting the bullies and what so ever. i don't care if i will get hurt.i just wanna him lives like i do. without anymore worries. 

i used to be in the same situation as him once time ago.

flashback

i almost commited suicide back then.and i regret it. its so hurt.although my feeling shattered.although i knew its better to end the pain with killing myself.cutting my wrist...

 but

 everything stop when i saw my mom.the way the tears flow from her beautiful eyes. i could see how much she is breaking apart.seeing me with bandage,scars,blood and i knew that i almost died.but god still loved me.giving me a chance to look at her.

guilty struck me at that time...9 months of taking care of me...she suffered a lot while giving birth to me.19 years of taking of me...

and this the way i pay back her sacrifice?letting her saw blood flows from my body.letting her suffered because of me?

tha way my dad looked at me with disbelief.almost falling apart?after he worked all his life...i decided to repay him like this.

the day i awoke...i saw both of them...crying and praying to god,hoping for me to stay alive...

god...is this my punishment. you let me saw them crying ,praying for me to stay alive.although i am the one who decided to let myself down...who decided to be a coward...who decided to run away...who decided to waste the life you gave to...who decided to end everything?

thanks god. for letting me stay alive.to see both of my parents onceagain.

thanks god for letting me breath again.

thanks for everything you gave to me...

i promise i wont end it.i promise i wont waste it.

"mark?"

*another cliffhanger just for you... ^^

ANYWAY GUYS THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT...YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.NEVER WASTE YOUR LIFE.IF YOU ARE SAYING THAT I DONT UNDERSTAND THE WAY YOU FELT...JUST LETTING YOU KNOW I ALMOST COMMITED SUICIDE A YEARS AGO.THE DAY I UPDATE THIS STORY IS THE SAME DAY I DECIDED TO END MY LIFE.MARK POV IS MY POV BACK THEN.PLEASE IF YOU LOVE YOUR PARENTS...PLEASE NEVER END IT ALTHOUGH YOU ARE HURT.TRY TO GET HELPED. I SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION BACK THEN AFTER I DECIDED I WANT TO STAY ALIVE...HERE I AM WRITING AND READING WATTPAD.^^IF YOU GUYS HAD PROBLEM JUST TALK TO ME.I WILL TRY MY BEST.WE WILL FIGHT TILL THE END.