Can you love a ghost? // H.S✔️

5. Letters

2nd of March 1995
He done it again, I heard it. Mummy screaming and crying it upsets me. I can hear him shouting at her, I can hear her falling to the ground. But I'm too scared to leave my room incase he hits me again. Last time it hurt and made me cry which made him angry more. I will stay under my blanket and close my eyes. I don't know why he hurts us, maybe he doesn't like us that much. Mummy said he loves us really but I was taught you didn't hurt people you love.
Good night.
From Harry Styles

6th of May 1995
It's bad this time. Mummy wouldn't wake up this morning she was laying in bed and I couldn't wake her. I had to miss school and I will get in trouble now. Mummy was sad when she woke and in lots of pain the bed was covered in blood but I didn't know where it came from as mummy's head was ok this time. She couldn't get out of bed today so I looked after her until he came home and found out I helped. He pushed me down the stairs and I hurt myself really bad it took me ages to get up back to my room.
I'm scared. Is this forever?
Good night.
Harry Styles

13th of September 1995
I don't think mummy will be here long, he told me he will kill her. I believe him. I'm so scared to loose my mummy I love her so much and she's a nice mummy to me. Why does he hurt her? He made me watch while he done bad things to mummy she was begging him to stop and he pulled all her clothes off. He was beating her and then got on top and done that thing to her that I'm not allowed to mention. I try and close my eyes but he says he will fuck her harder if I do. I don't know what that means but I guess it's not good. I can't get help and no one will listen to me. He told me they won't listen to a little boy. I want to help mummy I try but he pushes me around I'm not strong enough. But I will be one day.
Goodnight.
Harry Styles

18th of January 1996
This is my last entry before I go to boarding school. He sent me away, said I get in the way here. I start fighting back but he's too strong. He kicked me eleven times in the stomach for my birthday yesterday. And I was given some mouldy bread which I guess is better than starving which is what I'm use to. I will miss my mum and I hope when I return I can take her away with me. Keep her safe with me.
Goodnight.
Harry Styles

I take a breath and feel the tears coming down my face, there were hundreds of diary entries. I couldn't read them all. He must of lived here before, a boy name Harry. The last entry was in 1996 and it says he was eleven years old so that means now he is around my age maybe a little older. That's if he's alive I think to myself.

He goes to boarding school so he must be, I wonder what's happened to his mum? I wonder if she got out and got away from this monster who is beating and raping her. My heart breaks a little more for this small starving child, crying in his room.
I look around my room and wonder what's happened in the house in the past and I get a cold shiver come over me.

I put the letters back in the box and close the lid. I slide it under my bed so no one takes it. I stand up and stretch it's eleven at night and i hadn't realised what the time was I must of been reading for hours. I'm feeling thirsty so decide to go grab a drink from the kitchen.

I'm walking back up the stairs and stand at the top and look down the hallway to the last bedroom or so I call it the cold room. I turn around and look down the stairs and wonder how many times this small boy has been pushed down them.
I look back at my room and decide to go and open the door of the cold room.
It slowly creaks open and I screw my face up incase it wakes my mum up.
I step inside and I'm suddenly freezing cold. I walk over to the middle of the room and stand there spinning around and taking in the whole room. Why is it so cold?

I feel uneasy, I'm not sure why? Maybe something happened in here, maybe this was his room. Harry's room.
I sit down on the hard wood floor and hold my head in my hands. Sadness creeps over me and I'm not sure what's happening and I can't control my emotions. I start sobbing, uncontrollably sobbing.

I'm woken by the sunlight creeping into the cold room, I'm laying down and wondering what the hell am I doing in here? I must of fell asleep last night. I sit up and notice a blanket draped over me. My mum must of walked past and seen me and not wanting to wake me she put this on me. I've never seen the blanket before though, I don't remember it being one of ours.

I walk back to my bedroom with the blanket over my shoulders and look at the time. It's six I'm up a little earlier than normal but I guess it gives me loads of time to get myself ready. I might even have a relaxing bath before school. I go and run the bath and fill it with loads of bubbles, I sink into the bath and close my eyes. I must of drifted off to sleep as I'm woken by my mum banging on the door.

"Holly you in there?" She's shouting and sounds kind of panicked. How long has she been calling me?

"Yeah! Sorry yeah I'm here I'm just getting out" I hear her walk out of my room and close my door.

I get myself up and dressed, same routine as yesterday, I walk downstairs and have my fruit and glass of water. My back is aching and I assume it's because I slept on a hard wood floor last night.

"Oh thanks for bringing me that blanket last night" I say rubbing my back. My mum looks up at me from her breakfast and gives me a confused looked.

"The blanket? Thanks" I shake my head at her and raise my eyebrows waiting for her to respond.

She clears her throat "what are you on about?" She tilts her head to the side, studying me.

I have a feeling she genuinely doesn't know what I'm talking about and I feel uneasy. She's still staring at me waiting for me to explain.

"Oh I don't know, i had a funny night last night. Don't know what's a dream and what isn't" I let out a weak laugh.

She follows suit with a little laugh "what you like, eh?" She stands up and takes her bowl to the dishwasher and heads out the room to get her shoes and coat on.

What the hell? Maybe it was all a dream, I rub my back and think if it was then why would my back be hurting?
I place my bowl in the dishwasher and head up stairs to brush my teeth I walk into the bedroom to grab my blazer for school and see the brown blanket on my bed. I pick it up and smell it, it doesn't smell of our house and I know I've never seen it before. I'm so confused my forehead is hurting from frowning.

I fold the blanket up and place it back on my bed and notice a small white label stitched to the corner of the blanket. I hold it up to get a closer look at the label and as soon as I read it I drop the blanket and stand back.

Property of H.S

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