Can you love a ghost? // H.S✔️

26. Imagination vs Reality

I sit down facing Niall, my second session with him and I've been looking forward to it. I get to talk to him about Harry without judgement.

"So Holly how have you been?" He kindly asks lifting his glasses from his head and placing them down on his notebook.

"Ok I guess" I shrug. I mean I haven't been on top of the world but I've been in worse places.

"How was your first day back at school?" He probes me.

"Erm, not great I lasted two minutes before leaving and going home" I look down and remember Rachel and what she said.

"That's difficult and you knew it would be, how did you feel when you got home?" He picks his glasses up and put them back on and starts to write stuff down. I lift my head to see if I can make out what it is but obviously I'm too far away to make sense of the scribbles.

"Well I went out first for breakfast" I admit.

Niall lifts his head up "with Harry?" He questions carefully.

"No, not Harry" I feel stupid talking to someone about Harry as if it's a normal thing. I've never been able to speak to anyone about Harry before and it feels odd.

"Ok, would you like to tell me who?" He tilts his head in waiting of my answer.

I sigh "with a boy called Louis" I look up and add quickly "he's real, he goes to my school"

This makes Niall let out a chuckle with grins my buttons. "Holly I'm not going to assume everyone we talk about is imaginary" he writes a note and takes his coffee off the table "tell me about Louis" he leans back and blows the hot coffee before taking a sip.

"Oh er..well he's in a couple of my classes he is the only one at school who spoke to me from day one. But we didn't hit it off well to begin with as he was the boyfriend of Jenny" I turn my nose up at the mention of her name. "But recently he's broken up with her and after my awful first day back he took me out for breakfast..as a friend" I finish.

"Ah well that's great Holly. Do you see him as a friend? Someone who you can talk to on a personal level?" He takes another sip. It's nice that he's not writing this down I feel him listening to me and not analysing me, although I'm sure he'll mentally remember this and write it down later.

"I guess so, it's nice to have that, A friend I mean that's real" I shyly add.

"Good, and do you talk about Harry?" He settles his coffee back down and picks up his pen.

"Of course not! He'll think I'm insane!" I laugh at the thought of talking about Harry to Louis.

"I'm sure he wouldn't, you've been through a lot Holly. Imaginary friends are brought on through the feelings of loneliness, getting socially prepared or just expressing emotions. You've made that step into differentiation imaginary and reality. Now you've found someone in reality to express these feelings you'll find yourself more and more stepping away from Harry and using Louis in the same way" he stops and writes down in his notebook.

I don't want to replace Harry with Louis, this is breaking my heart and mentally ruining my head space.

"But what if I don't want to do that? What if I want to stay with Harry forever? I can't see me without him" I confess.

"Of course you can't right now, he's been playing a big part of your life at the moment. He's seen you through a lot of emotions and situations. So it will be hard to separate yourself from that, he's made you feel safe, loved, liked and secure. But you must understand you can't let him get in the way of real life Holly. You'll end up distancing yourself from that and it will affect your way of living" he doesn't look up at me from his note book.

I lean back in my chair and think, I quietly think of Harry. Everything we have been through together I couldn't imagine it never happening again.

"He sent me back here when I died" I say.

"What do you mean?" Niall finally looks up at me.

"When I was stabbed I tried to cross over to the other side but Harry made me come back here. He felt so real in that moment, I could feel him like he were the same instead of his cold body or touch. He was himself not as a ghost" I sigh remembering how it felt to finally feel him, to feel the beating of his pulse.

"So Harry is a ghost? Is that what you're saying?" He questions me.

"I guess so, he use to live at my house years ago before he was murdered" I look over at the tissues and contemplate reaching for one.

"I see, so you believe Harry Styles is in your house?" He looks at me, studying my reaction.

"You know about him?" I ask. I never told him his second name.

He clears his throat "Yes I'm well aware of Harry Styles. I heard about it, i remember watching it unfold on the news. This changes a few things Holly" he looks down at his notebook and I'm not sure what he means?

"Why?"

"I shouldn't really indulge in my previous clients but I feel this will help you. I had a young girl maybe your age come to me about four years ago. She felt she was going crazy from hearing and seeing a young man in and around her house. He started haunting her and she couldn't cope anymore"

This must be the last family to live there before us, I know Harry said he used to haunt and drive families out of there as his way of communicating with people.

"So I assure you, you are not crazy. It sounds like you've struck up a relationship with Harry in his spirit form. So in fact this isn't an imaginary friend" he picks up his coffee again and slowly finishes it.

I go over his words, I'm not crazy and Harry isn't made up. I didn't make him up, yes he's a ghost but he is a real person. I do a happy dance inside to myself.

"My suggestion is to contact a Lady called Darla she's been to the house many times and she will clear Harry from there. Leaving you to continue living a normal life"

I don't want Darla to come and make Harry move out, I can't let her do that.

"I don't want that. Why can't he stay?" I ask. He's not doing me any harm.

"I think it's in your best interest to remove Harry from your life. Leave room to make a relationship with Louis someone who is real in spirit and mind. You will never be able to have a relationship with Harry. You must know that?" Niall looks at his watch.

I do know that, but it's not harming me now. I can still be friends with Louis right? I know Harry wasn't happy about it but he can't stop me from having friends.

"What if I don't agree to Darla coming over?" I look up at the clock and see i have five minuets left.

Niall sighs "if I feel it's in your best interests then I will contact her myself with the permission from your mother and sort out a time for her to come and remove Harry"

My god this can't happen! This has backfired completely. He can't be removed, they can't do that can? Surely he can just refuse.

Niall looks at me "I'll give you a week, I suggest to ask Harry yourself to leave. It will be a big step for you and your mental state saying good bye to him, rather than someone coming and forcing you into letting him go."

I nod knowing full well I will never ask Harry to leave me. I don't want him to leave.

"I hope you understand Holly, because you need to get back to the real world now and move on past this" Niall gets up and closes his notebook and places it down and walks to the door and opens it for me.

I get up and walk over to him "I do and thank you" I nod. I need to seem like I understand and I am willing to do as he says so I can play along next time.

I will never say good bye to Harry.

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