Lost Letters

We all Hate me

(This is a bit long, like 800 words... oops, and not really a poem.. more like a letter in poetic form, but I still hope you enjoy!) 
(Ps. I wrote this at like 1 Am :P)

I don't hate you
In fact
I don't hate anybody, if you don't count myself
I know you don't hate me either
Even if you say you do
here's why

You call me ugly
And honestly, thank you

I've always been told I'm beautiful
That I could steal a man's breath away
I don't think it's true
But the 8 guys who've liked me only for my looks
Would beg to differ

I hate that I can't see the same beauty
Or think of myself as others do
I hate that people only like me for my looks
And don't bother to dig deeper than the surface

So honestly, thank you
For showing me that not everyone sees the same

You call me fat
And truthfully, I'm grateful

People stare at me in the gym locker rooms
Whisper to their friends then look back
Some of the brave ones tell me My body's perfect
That they could never be like me

I always laugh and smile
But I'm never truly genuine
I don't see why they'd like my body
Everyone is perfect in their own way, why would they want to be me?

Whether you're born with a curvy waist
Or a straight one
Big boobs
Or small ones
A little butt
Or a huge one
You're all utterly gorgeous, as long as you're kind

At least, that's how I see you
The kinder and more friendly you are
The more beautiful you become
And that's not just some cheesy inspirational thing I picked up
That's truthfully how I see you

So I'm grateful,
That you've shown me some people are def to one's personality, and only care about looks

You call me a whore,
And this
I am not okay with

I've never been called a hoe
Or anything in relation to that
I understand you may not know
What power those words hold
But it is not acceptable

I have never given myself to anyone
I do not date others for money
Although many have prompted me to
I do not sleep with others for fun
Without any emotional commitment

I am still a virgin for Christ's sake!
I've never even been to a boy's house
I'm scared of touching another
Be it not my fault, but He

I only dress for myself
It brings me satisfaction knowing
I feel comfortable in how I show myself
Even then, I have never shown much skin
Besides my arms and below my mid-thigh

So in this,
I have proven you don't hate me
And if you still don't see how I know
I'll elaborate

You have never spoke kindness to me
Even when I would
A compliment to your hair
Returns an insult to my body

In this I have noticed
You only point out the "flaws" to my person
That is in yours

You're jealous, just like the others
You think as they say about me
But speak as they think of themselves

In all honesty, you fooled me for a bit
I honestly thought
You weren't like the others
I thought you saw beauty in yourself as I did you

But you wear hoodies when it's hot
And cover your face with your bangs
You speak poorly of others
And slump as they walk by

In truth, no one looks at you
Like you do yourself
Or thinks of you
As you speak of others

But you think they do
And you're jealous
Of those who you think have it better
Of those who walk with their heads held high
Of those who are comfortable in their being

In truth, we don't have it better
But we don't waste hours thinking of that
We try to better ourselves

Grow confidence in our body
Build strength in our minds
Because we know
This is the only body and mind
That we'll ever have
May as well get comfortable in it
And if we can't change something
We learn to love it

It's true I'm not fully comfortable yet
I still have many things I can change
And many more things I need to learn
Before I can grow a fully confident mind
But so far, I've learned to walk in stride
And think of those as I'd want others to think of me
Because I know kindness is the best poison
And works wonders at killing the hate and prejudice

So in this letter that will never get to you
I hope you know
That I do not hate or dislike you
But feel sorry for how you think
I believe you deserve better
And I hope as you grow older
You will learn to love and accept yourself
And treat others with the same kindness
That you think of yourself