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by iconic80s

by iconic80s

"Stella-" I head a muffled Dallas Winston's voice yell from in the room. I was already halfway up the stairs to Ang's room. why the fuck did I say that.

I can't believe that just happened. Tears streamed down my face as I locked the door and leaned up against it. fuck. I was so embarrassed. One, I can't be crushing on Dallas he's my best friend and has been for
my whole life. Now everything's gonna be different because my drunk ass couldn't handle seeing him with someone else.
Two, now the whole school knows I like Dal and I didn't even know I liked him until like two minutes ago
Three, I fucked up... big time. This could cost me my best friend. FUCKKK.

I sat on Ang's bed taking continuous hits from my juul getting as head high as possible. There's one point in my head highs where I just go numb, nothing matters, I feel nothing. That's how I want to be. Just numb to everything. Ang left her g-pen in her room so room so this was a "don't mind if I do moment". I was drunk, head high and just plain old high at this point. I felt like I was floating .

*knock knock*

Great, I'm high as a kite. Good thing I can't stand up to even try to get the door. The door knob jiggled a little and was lead by a dark figure walking in the room. I had the all the lights off besides the christmas lights Ang had hanging over her Polaroid wall. Plus having everything moving from squares to circles made it just a tad bit harder to figure out who had just walked into the room.

As the figure got closer, as expected, it was none other than Mr. Dallas Winston. He sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. I cried into his chest. "Hey why are you crying?" he asked. "I cry when I'm drunk, I cry when I'm high. Put two and two together and here I am" I said laughing. Deep down inside there was a reason as to why I was crying, but it was too deep for my brain to even know why.

"okay, I know I don't care about a lot but I care about you... tell me why you're crying" I was still a drunken mess now drowning in tears, instead of alcohol. I couldn't get many words out. I just didn't know what to say. Usually when 'real' things happen when I'm drunk I'll sober up a little, like when Dal fought Mason I sobered up. This moment was a little like that. Except I wanted to punch myself in the face.

"I-I don't know" where the only words I mustered up. "shut the fuck up" he replied. Dal wasn't the 'serious' type. I've never seen him care about anything or really be serious in any situation. "what" I said looking up at him. "Yea because your just crying for no fucking reason" he said raising his voice. He was like hella pissed at me. Let me fucking know. I'm a mess crying and he's about to yell at me, don't go there. I couldn't answer him, "there's obviously a reason" he continued.

I couldn't figure out what was actually wrong. Like why was I crying? Yea I had just said I loved Dallas in front of everyone, but why am I crying about it? I'm not embarrassed. It's probably because I'm drunk.... yea i'm gonna blame it on being drunk. Usually how I deal with any of my problems if we're being real.

"I c-can't" I said sitting up 'wiping away my tears'... It felt like those tears had tattooed my skin. They'd just be there forever, everyone one would know. Just like everyone knows I'm in love with Dallas Winston.

Here's my Dilemma... I can't love Dal. Like yea I 'love' him... as my best friend. Everyone knows me and Dal are like a dynamic duo. Half the school already thought we were dating so if we did date... Stella stop what the fuck are you saying.

"You can't what" he said getting a little pissed off again. "I-I can't love you" I said looking down at my fingers as I chipped off my nail polish. "What?", "Dallas, I can't love you. We are best friends... we can't be more than that" I honestly had no fucking clue what I was saying. I feel like i'm not making any sense what's so ever. There was deadass no reason as to why I was crying, or why I couldn't love Dallas, or why I even loved him in the first place.

He just gave me a confused look. Kids always fucking confused. "Dallas I-" fuck

Before I could finish a sentence my brain never even started, lips lightly touched mine. Dallas Winston's lips... on mine. snjakansjjskjabs. The feeling I felt, the thoughts I thought were like none i've ever felt before. I've kissed guys before, a lot of guys. But this was different. There was meaning behind it. I couldn't tell what the meaning was, but it was there.
I hookup with guys a lot, I promise i'm not a slut, I just enjoy hooking up with guys. It's usually Mason but sometimes Ill throw someone else in there. What I'm trying to get at is this kiss was different than any other i've had. You get the point okay.

The kiss was only a couple seconds until I pulled away in utter shock. Dallas just kissed me. What the actual fuck was happening.

"Dal what was that?" I asked leaning back onto my hands. "You said you couldn't love me" he said. What's that supposed to mean? Swear this kids always throwing curve balls at me when I'm drunk. Just a box of fucking surprises. That's what I loved about him. STELLA stop saying you love him. You CANT love him.

"so?"

"Can you love me now?"

—
chapters a little short...
lmk if this is good bc i can't tell