i'd rather be a riot than indifferent

3. demons of the past

Freed confronts their mother and their feelings about the unexpected visit. Laxus and their friends comfort them in their own ways.

a/n: all of gray and freed's dialogue in italics is them speaking french

tw for transphobia, intentional/repeated misgendering, mentions of dysphoria

-----

"I can get her to leave, if you want?"

Gray's voice was soft as he spoke to Freed in French – he had moved to stand next to Freed, close but not touching. Freed breathed a soft sigh of appreciation, but shook their head. Gray forcing their mom to leave wouldn't end well.

"No, let her explain herself," they replied. They were a bit curious as to why she was here anyway. Freed turned back to her. "Well? What do you want?"

"Can't a mother visit her daughter?" Her mother – or Karen, as Freed had started thinking of her – gave her a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Come, Amanda, be civil." Freed's throat tightened and blood rushed to their cheeks. They hadn't heard that name in a long time, and didn't want Ryos or Gray to hear it either.

"You haven't talked to me in ten years," Freed hissed, crossing their arms over their chest and feeling heat travelling down to the back of their neck. "And stop calling me Amanda." They were proud of how firm their voice was, even though they felt like they were falling apart inside. They turned to Gray and reached out to grab his arm. "Can you call Laxus?"

"Of course," he said, darting an angry look at Karen. "Should I – we – stay here?" Freed realized that Ryos was still standing behind them, hand on Kiya's arm, a puzzled look on his face. Ryos knew that Freed was estranged from their parents, but Freed didn't talk about them often.

"Please?" Freed said quietly. "I mean, Ryos, if you have to head out with the kids...but Gray, if you wouldn't mind..." They ran their fingers over their jeans anxiously.

"Whatever you need," Gray said softly, returning the arm squeeze and pulling out his phone. He moved back into the common area, dialling Laxus' number. Ryos nodded that he would remained, too, and followed Gray.

"Can I at least come in?" Freed turned back to see that Karen was still standing there, posture exuding irritation and discomfort. She was a short woman with reddish-colored hair, and Freed looked nothing like her.

"No," Freed replied, voice wavering. "You're not welcome here." They swallowed heavily, feeling like they were sixteen years old again. They were suddenly extremely self-conscious of their appearance – dark skinny jeans, combat boots, unbuttoned collared shirt over a dark tank top. Their mom was certainly going to notice that they were binding – they'd never been particularly flat-chested. They reached up and fiddled with the beanie that covered most of their bright green hair.

"You're going to make me stand out here?" Karen asked incredulously. "I've come all this way!"

"I came all this way by myself when I was sixteen because you watched dad hit me and threaten to send me away." Freed's voice was sharp and bitter. "So unless you have a very good reason for bothering me at work, I want you to leave." Their heart was pounding so loud they were surprised that Karen couldn't hear it.

"You're so hostile," Karen murmured, sighing and adjusting her blazer. "I've been looking for you for almost a year." Freed snorted.

"Almost a year, huh? How about the nine years before that? You didn't seem to upset about your missing kid then." The flush was spreading from Freed's cheeks down their chest, and their hands were shaking so badly they had to make fists to hide it. They'd never expected to see their parents again.