time is an illusion ; the ramblings of a dumb stupid idiot

news flash! i hate myself ;

whenever i put a snapchat lens on my face i'll feel so pretty for a few minutes but then i'll take it off and my face will go back to normal and it's like !! o shit !! i forgot i was an ugly piece of trash !! and it honestly SUCKS ASS because until really recently i'd been feeling okay about how i looked (face-wise, anyway) and then i just fell back into that terrible spiral of self-hate and just !!!!!! wow i want to die