In the morning
I feel the sickness set in
I can't breathe
Everything makes me feel sick
I swallow back the urge to die
Maybe chug some water to
Delete the taste
But it never really leaves
Maybe I'll sit over the toilet
Maybe I'll cry
Maybe I'll go back to bed
Maybe I'll just die
My stomach is in turmoil
My head is running around
My body is yelling
Yet you sleep soundly next to me
How?
How can you not feel my pain
My love
How can you not sense my agony
As I fold in on myself
As I endure painful stabbing for hours?
I tell myself it's not that bad
Just go back to bed
But I can't
Not today
Something is wrong
More wrong than normal
I want to fall out of bed
I want to curl up and die
I don't want to live
Not with this feeling
Every morning
I wake up with this
Yet every day
I act like it didn't happen
Call it morning sickness
Or whatever
I don't care
I don't know what it is
I'm not pregnant
I'm not sick
I'm not dying
I'm not underweight
Mornings are the hardest
When I'm alone
In my mind
Half asleep
I can't speak rationally to myself
I can't even hold my head up
I'm constantly slipping
Spilling
Over the edge
And never back again
But in the afternoon
My smile will be back
I'll act okay
Like I didn't just suffer
And things will be good
I promise, I'm okay
