Your pills sit less than 10 feet away from me
Less than 5 steps away from me
Less then 3 second away from me
So why the hell am I not running for them
You're asleep
God
It would be so easy to just grab them
Run to the bathroom
Smash myself against the door
Spill your weeks worth of pills over the counter
Cup my hands
Fill them with water
Down all of your pills
Fall to the ground
And sleep
Sleep
Forever
And ever
It would be so easy
Damn, almost too easy
I don't like easy
But I do like
Clean
Neat
I could
I want to
I should
So why do I hesitate?
Is it because I know I cant swallow them?
Because I'm actually scared?
I have no idea
But as I sit here
In the dark
I contemplate it
You won't miss me
My cat will be fine
Cassie will get a new friend
Max will move one
My mom has Liam
Ariel has Amber and Addi
Everyone has someone
I have no one
What if someone up and left
Like my dad
I can't replace anymore people
It hurts too much to say goodbye
So why don't I just leave
I won't have to watch anyone leave anymore
The world is bent on making me leave
Why else would I feel so empty
Why else would I want to leave
I want those pills
In my mouth
In my body
I want out
I want to meet Grace
I want to try again
As someone else
With less problems
A clean slate
