The Silence Within

Chapter 42

No one except those who had also gone through it will understand the pain of losing a child. It annoys her so much when people expect her to forget about it and move on since there was one more living child. Her son's death changed her. People barely saw the sorrow and anguish hidden behind her smiles except Jafar. He knew when she's lost in thoughts about his brother. There are some events that happen which reminds her of her son. There are times she looked at Umar and saw little Khalifah in him. She would get up, go to her room, lock herself and cry, the unfathomable pain eating her up.

Losing a child is a happening no one can expect. It frustrates her when people try to relate to her situation when they have actually not gone through it. They don't understand how it feels to reminisce all those years she spent with him. She had carried him for nine months, watched him grow, stayed by him during his hard and good times, saw him finish university, graduate, serve his country, find a good job in Abuja, marry, become a great husband and father, just to die.

A child's death is every parents' worst fear, their nastiest nightmare. The parent live each day thinking about the child. You see something that remind you of that child, travel back to the past just to realise the child is not there. They don't know how painful it is. It's worse than a heartbreak, worse than dying. She had not seen her son die but she could imagine the pain he would have gone through when those heartless people left him to bleed to death by the road side. There was guilt, the guilt of still living when her son's dead.

Hajia Jummai stared the photo in her hand. It had been Khalifah's university graduation. He had been embarrassed because she had called him her baby and kissed his cheeks in front of his friends. It had taken so long before she had the picture with him. She will never forget that feeling of joy she felt watching him finish school. Few nights later, he had hugged her, told her he was not reading again. Those years in university had been hectic. He had struggled through and now that's he's done, he is not reading again. He won't further his education to Masters.

She had laughed. It was in this same room, on the same bed, where he had laid, his head on her laps. Now that memory brought tears to her eyes and hollowness to her heart. That spot Khalifah had left will forever be empty. No one can fill it up. No one can fix her. She broke down. Warm tears raced down her face. The muscle of her chin trembled as she held in aching sobs, her face in her palms. She had not seen or heard the door open because she had been lost in her grief. When she felt those soothing hands go around her, she had leaned into their comfort. She buried her face into the person's chest, breathing in the familiar scent of musk and citrus. She clung to the person, letting out her cries but her comforter was there to whisper words of solace to her, pat her and wipe away her tears. She knew who it was. It was her Jafar.

Khalifah had been his best friend. They had grown up together and despite Khalifah had left Nigeria to study, they always had been in touch. Khalifah was his confider. He did nearly everything with him, told him all his problem because he had been a good listener and adviser. He had told him about Osasere and those days, as he remembered, Khalifah had teased him about this Edo crush of his. They had done many mischievous acts together, gotten into trouble together just to have Khalifah take the blame.

It was Khalifah who had known how he had wished and hoped to meet Osas's again. His brother had said "When the right time come, you guys will meet but it will be unexpected"

When he fell, Khalifah had risen him up. When he cried, Khalifah had wiped his tears. When he needed someone to talk to, Khalifah had always been there. He wondered what Khalifah will say about Osasere if he was alive. Khalifah would have mocked him and called him a wood seller yet, supported his occupation. They had left Osasere's house some minutes to seven. On their way, they had branched a mosque and prayed. The traffic jam had been minimal but Umar who was tired had fallen asleep at the back seat. He had gone to tuck Umar in bed and decided to spend the night since it was already too late to drive back home when he checked on his mother. He found her crying, Khalifah's graduation picture next to her. He understood the situation and walked into it.