I'm Not Leaving // lrh

2 || better half

soho, new york
3:40pm

A

Jesse and I talked on the phone way longer than I planned and I'm so glad it turned out this way. We stumbled at first, during the first few minutes of the call. It was awkward for both of us and I wanted more than anything for it to end or better yet build a Time Machine to stop myself from calling last night.

But eventually we found our way. And then, we couldn't stop talking.

I took a lunch, which is rare. I fully intended on a quick fifteen minute catch up convo while I grabbed a coffee and walked back to the office.

But I took my entire lunch hour instead.

And it was still morning back in California, she had a lot of time too.

We managed not to speak about last night at all which is something I could tell she did on purpose. And I was thankful. I don't think I would've been able to handle my dad and Jesse talking to me about them. I would've totally snapped and ruined any progress I've made with her.

I hate myself for not considering she'd still be so close to them after all this time. Just because we're estranged doesn't mean they are. They all live in the same city. Same time zone. It makes sense.

My lunch did eventually came to an end, forcing me to end our conversation earlier than I wanted to. But the hour flew by! I hardly felt it.

We ended it by promising we'd see each other soon. She said we have to make plans the next time we talk. Not only that but we have to keep said plans. She made me pinky promise from the other side of the country.

She plied me with all these upcoming things that I supposedly just had to be at. It sounded like a lot since going out isn't something I do anymore. I was exhausted just listening to her talk. But I let her talk about them. She gets carried away and it's awesome to listen to how excited she is about everything.

She's starting a new job. And graduating school. She's moving out of her student apartment. All big things. And I'm over the moon for her.

I just don't know if I can be there. Physically.

And it sucks because I know I can send flowers and champagne all I want, it won't make up for not being there.

On my walk back to the office from the cafe I kept my head low, avoiding any and all 5sos ads.

They're back!

And have a new attitude!

Rebranding!

Which means they are all over the press, all over the NYC billboards. Especially SoHo. And Times Square.

It's not enough that my dad had to mention them and that my closest friend still hangs out with them, the universe (and their marketing team) had to ensure that their ads would be plastered on every flat surface within a mile radius of my place of employment.

I made my way up the elevator and down the hall to my department.

Our current job is to come up with handfuls of new takes on old designs based on a concept and mood board from our current creative director, Demna.

I spotted my friend and coworker, Shay, and rushed my way over to her, excited to show her my drawings from last night.

She's sitting in a conference room with a mood board from last season next to the current mood board. Red yarn is crossing out concepts that didn't over lap. Pictures of models, cuts of fabrics, pieces of conceptual art pieces, all put together on a cork board. The table's covered in other fabrics and a couple of water color paints for her drawings, mere inches away from the fancy laptops and iPads.