I'm Not Leaving // lrh

66 || thinking on it

laurel canyon
7:00pm

A

I kept my promise to Shay. In very natural form, a pro and con list started writing itself in my head and then eventually came to life. I couldn't catch a wink of sleep the entire flight so I bust out my notebook from my carry on and start writing.

PARIS

Con: the flight from Paris to L.A will be longer than the one from New York to L.A

Pro: it's literally Paris

I never thought I'd use the keys Luke gave me to either one of his houses but when I did land in L.A and got to his house, he was nowhere to be found. He wasn't answering the door, or his phone, his car wasn't in the driveway.

So it was either use the key or find a hotel until I found Luke.

I immediately crossed that idea off the mental list. I'm all the way up the hill already and getting a ride up here would be a nightmare at this hour and hotels always give me a hard time when I check in late at night. No, simply no.

When I called Jesse because the rest of 5sos is also unreachable, she explained it's because they're still at the studio. I literally felt my eyes roll into the back of my head as she said it. I don't know why I didn't see that coming.

She's literally baby sitting Petunia as we speak and has been doing so since early this morning.

"What the hell are they even working on?" I asked because I have no idea what could possibly be so serious in the studio that he's still there.

"Some stuff for the Chainsmokers album. They literally have become BFF's again since they started writing together."

"Barf." I say even though I like the Chainsmokers just fine as people.

"Yeah tell me about it. They've been MIA as one big group for days now. Have a serious case of FOMO."

"Come over then? To Luke's? Keep me company?" I need someone here so I don't spiral, wondering if Luke straight up forgot about my visit.

Con: Jesse is in L.A

"Ugh, I wish I could. But I have the dogs and Miles is here, we're using up all his time before he goes on a work trip to Greenland."

"What's in Greenland?"

"Whales."

"Ah." I say with furrowed brows as if that clears anything up for me.

"Just hold the fort down. He's gotta go home eventually."

I glance around at the emptiness of Luke's living room, wishing eventually came right this second.

"Yeah. I guess so."

It's just not cozy without him here. And I can't help but wonder what I'm even doing here if he's not even here.

When Jesse and I got off the phone, I unpacked a few of my things. My makeup and bathroom stuff, the clothes in my suitcase I don't want to wrinkle so I hang them up in Luke's closet.

I cracked into a bottle of Prosecco Luke had chilling in his fridge as I walked around and explored the empty house. Luke's record player I got him for Christmas is in the living room which of course just lights me up inside. The painting I got him is safely wrapped up in the garage, waiting for the Malibu house to be done so it can be transported.