3rd Wheel

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Jaeger

I made my way to the front of the plane and took a deep breath. I was finally back home. Ready to face the future. I'd been in contact with Candon and Paul via skype, text, and phone almost nightly. It was a heated battle but I convinced them not to waste time and money having Paul come here to 'escort' me home. We needed to be sensible and I needed them to stop being so overprotective. We did agreed on several things before my return that we would begin immediately as soon as my feet hit the ground.

The first, that we would talk about everything that happened leading up to my decision to leave with a therapist. We wouldn't end the day without discussing anything that was bothering us no matter how small or petty. We would have full disclosure. Paul and Candon would let me in on their relationship, something I previously said I wanted to know nothing about.

In order to be of more assistance to Candon, I needed to take a larger role in the company. While I was away I realized I was only co-CEO in title. In reality, Candon handled everything. I just sort of did my own thing and he allowed me to. 

 I realized during the separation that I had been buffered from a lot of the cut throat things happening including the attempt by his step-mother, brother , and step-siblings to take the company from him. He spent months in meetings, traveling, negotiating, making new business contacts and alliances to keep and protect the company. 

 I was oblivious to it all. Too wrapped up in school and my own feelings to see he was sinking and suffering in silence. Paul only knew because he was still at the condo to see it happening.

But none of us really spoke about our stresses.  We just sort of dealt with it on our own.  In that way, we became withdrawn from each other.

"We're all so stupid," I muttered to myself. But with self-awareness comes a chance to redeem yourself and fix what's broken. With that mindset, I exited the plane and hurried across the tarmac to the open arms of my two boyfriends.  We were all at fault for the breakdown of our relationship.  I was eager to meet with this therapist.  To get an outsider's perspective on our problems and how to fix it.  Our relationship was worth fixing and I was going to do my part to make sure we succeeded.

Since our appointment was the next day, we decided to have dinner and relax at home.  Paul and Candon did the main dishes and I made desert.  We talked about my time in Mexico teaching.  Paul talked about his courses and his new co-workers at the clinic.  Apparently one is a super flirt and is hellbent on getting in his pants.  I felt a tinge of jealousy sprout in my chest but it was quickly extinguished when Paul took my hand and kissed it softly.

"But Jay is the only one for me."

"Hey!  What about me?" Candon pouted.

I laughed softly as Paul leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.   "Yes, yes.  You too."

We worked together to clean up the kitchen then went into the living room and watched a movie.  Candon rested against the arm with me lying between his legs with my back to his chest.  Paul laid between my legs with his head on my chest.  I combed my fingers through his soft hair as we all lay comfortably watching Altered Carbon on Netflix.  As I lay there feeling Candon's heart beating and listened to Paul's soft snoring, I couldn't help the feelings welling up inside me.  I missed this.  I missed them.  I wanted this everyday until the day I died.  

I wanted us.