Why did I ever think that it was ok for me to try to find someone who I thought would be better? Why did I ever think that such a small, insignificant argument meant that we weren't meant to be; that you weren't the best one for me? I left something good to find better, but you were the best. It had to be you, because no one else had ever made me feel so happy, so full of joy. I ruined everything, and now I could never hope to get you back. You were broken when I left, but you moved on. You healed. Then you found someone who was better. You found the one who truly makes you happy. She makes you happier than I ever could. Why couldn't that have been me? Why did I have to be so stupid? And, now, I have to move on again. I have to move on because I decided I needed to move on when it wasn't the right time. Not only do I have to deal with the consequences of my stupid decision, I have to do it twice over. I had been hoping, praying, even pleading with God that you would be willing to take me back. I knew I didn't deserve it. I knew that it would be a while before you would ever be able to fully trust me again if you let me be yours again. I knew more than anything, however, that you had been the best and that you were the one I needed. But, when I went back to your place to beg for you to take me back, I saw that you were with her. You were happy, no, you were laughing. You were making each other so happy, and with the way you both looked at each other, I knew I didn't stand a chance at getting you back. I want to blame you for moving on. I want to be angry that you found someone else who makes you happier than I ever did. But, I can't. It's my fault that I'm no longer the one making you happy. I was the first to move on, and I now have to also be the last one to move past our happy memories. I still love you, and I think that I will never truly move on and that I will always still love you. But, who am I to blame other than myself? I guess the answer is no one.
- Alice
YOU ARE READING
The Unsaid Thoughts of the Ones Who Are Hurting
PoetryIn life there's pain and anguish. Most of it can't be understood by us while we go through it, and some can never be understood. However, though we may not understand the pain, we can talk about what it is, what it feels like, and how it affects us...
