Someone's Someone

Someone's Someone - Chapter Ten

Henna....

I've had a few days for the hurt to slowly subside about Danny.

In regretful hindsight, I think I realise why he reacted in the way that he did. Instead of asking him whether he would like me to set up a food and drink tab for him at the café, I stupidly went right on ahead and did it anyway; making him feel embarrassed and belittled.

I thought I was doing a good thing.

I thought it would help him.

But in the process of doing that good thing and trying to help, I sadly made Danny feel worthless.

I do that sometimes. I can be stupidly thoughtless when I'm actually trying to be very thoughtful. It's just what I do. I act first, think later.

I often get so caught up in how good it makes me feel, I forget how it might make somebody else feel.

It's not the first time, and it certainly won't be my last.

I'm an incurable do-gooder.

Sometimes, I get it right.

Sometimes, I get it wrong.

And with Danny, I got it sooooo wrong.

"You're not still moping, are you?"

Shaking my head, trying to sound like I'm really not moping, I smile in Fi's direction. "No, just daydreaming." Is my cool and calm answer.

Giving me an enthusiastic little squeeze of my shoulders, my longtime friend is peering at me through a rack of clothes with her wide and hazel eyes. "Good! Because I need a new dress for Jimmy's Christmas works do, so I need you sharp and completely mope-free!"

Fi knows all about what happened. And even though she'd never say it to my face, I know she's deep down glad that Danny and I have kind of fallen out. I think she thinks that will make me forget all about him, that I'll stop trying to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. "What about this one?" In my outstretched arm, I'm holding up a slate grey metallic dress on one of those posh velvety hangers. "This will show of your nice pair of legs." I explain to Fi, stroking the cool fabric with very appreciative fingers. "And this shade of grey will really bring out the auburn hues in your hair."

Fi is quiet; abnormally quiet, so my eyes search her out. As soon as they do find her, she's standing beside the clothes rail with a twisted grin slapped right across her amused face. "Okay, you're scaring me now."

My eyes widen as I cock my head to the side with a confused smirk. "What? What am I doing?"

"You're totally getting into this shopping experience. You're giving me great fashion advice...you never do that!" Fi gushes, her grin getting more crooked by the second. Taking the metallic dress from my hand, she eyes it approvingly. "And you've picked a really fab dress! Come with me so I can see what it looks like on."

With eager feet, Fi is excitedly making her way towards the changing rooms. I follow her, much less eagerly. Fi is right, I am not a big fan of clothes shopping. I'm more of a moocher. If something happens to catch my eye, then if I can be bothered, I'll go and try it on.

I hover between a size 12 and 14, but am happiest in jeans—skinny jeans, bootcut jeans, leather look jeans, cut-off jeans—so, I'm sooooo glad that it's not me having to find a Christmas do dress today.

Whilst Fi is getting undressed in a curtained cubicle, I quietly loiter outside, listening to the surprisingly good music that's on in the changing rooms. "Are you going to talk to me about Danny?"

Not wanting to; especially not through a curtain, my reply is quick. "Nope."

But Fi carries on regardless. "I know you, Henna, and when you're being unusually enthusiastic about clothes shopping, I know that enthusiasm is only there because you're using it to conceal something else that you're feeling."

Feeling myself sink against the partition wall, I think before I speak. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine."

"You're pretending to be fine."

"I am fine." There's aggravation in my answer, as I force myself to stop slumping against the wall.

"Hen, you're not fine. I know that you're still upset over this Danny bloke." Peeping her head out of the cubicle, Fi genuinely looks like she wants me to talk to her. "Listen, I know you think that I've been very negative about him. I know you think that you can't talk to me about him. But I'm your best friend. And a best friend knows when her best friend is upset. So, I'm here...okay?" Her lips are pursed together, turned upwards with a caring smile.

Relaxing, I return her caring smile for one of my own that's more grateful than I can ever say. "I know you are." But I really don't want to talk about Danny. I don't need to drag up how I offended him. How I dented that titanium pride of his. No, I don't need to talk about any of that. "Have you got that dress on yet?"

"Nearly." She tells me, disappearing back into the cubicle.

I smile to myself, continuing to listen to the music. Justin Beiber's Sorry is on, and never have his lyrics sank so deeply before.

I wish I could say sorry to Danny.

Sorry for offending him.

Sorry for making him feel worse about himself.

He maybe homeless, but he still has feelings. And by concentrating on only my own, I flippantly ignored his.

"Ta-dah!" Fi bounds out of her cubicle, twirling around as she shows off the metallic knee length dress that I had picked for her. "Oh my gosh, I think this is the one! What do you think, Hen?"

The slash neckline cocktail dress, with its ruched side detail gorgeously accentuates all of Fi's slenderly athletic body. Girlishly giving her a quiet little round of applause, I tell her just how amazing she looks. "It fits you perfectly, Fi. With some strappy silver heels, all those firefighters will need some serious hosing down at that Christmas do."

Laughing as she starts playing about with her hair, she then asks. "Do you think I should wear it up or down?" She's twisting her whole body from side to side; her hair held up, high and away from the back of her neck.

Smiling as I step nearer to her, I say with an honest smile. "Definitely up."

Grabbing an all-round view of herself in the floor to ceiling mirrors, Fi nods with the biggest smile pulling across her delighted face. "I agree. Thank yoooooou!" She lunges forward, hugging me thankfully hard. "I'm treating you to lunch for finding me the most perfect dress." She gushes, all happy and excited.

"That'll be lush." A lilt of Bristolian forgetfully slips off my tongue with the word lush. What can I say? It's a West Country thing.

Fi rushes back into change, looking over the moon with her new Christmas Do dress. "And will the topic of Danny be on the menu or off the menu?"

Although she can't see my eye roll, I dramatically do it anyway. "Definitely off!" I tell her. I just want to forget about what's happened. I'm sorry that it happened, but I can't change that it happened. As much as I would have liked to help him, Danny made it clear that he doesn't want any of my help. So for once, I am going to respect that.

No more dwelling on what can't be changed.

No more moping.

And no more do-gooding...or maybe not for a little while anyway.