A court of Pain and Misery

Are you there

I sat on the edge of the railing that circled my balcony. I looked down contemplating jumping just to end this here when I heard my hand start to turn. I played my part and pretended not to notice. I heard my door open and felt tamlims soft hand rest on my shoulder. I almost jumped off the balcony at how wrong the touch felt instead I flinched and made fear enter my eyes. Tamlin looked up at me "I'm sorry my love. I didnt mean to scare you" he leaned forward to place a kiss on my lips and I backed up on the ledge. "I-" he cut me off with a forced kiss to my lips. I lept off the ledge and backed away from him. He was staring at me with hunger in his eyes it took me a split second to enters  his mind and rwad his thoughts. She flintched. Whats wrong with her. Did that bastard do something? I just want to kiss her. Maybe she just needs a push to get there. I pulled out of his mind and my eyes went wide. He stepped forward and I knew what he was planning to do without looking in his mind. I backed up to the door and tamlin walked up to me and grabbed my face with his hands forcing me to kiss him and lifted me up carrying me to the bed. I tried pushing away but without using my power I couldnt do much. He placed me on the bed and began taking his shirt off. "Tam stop-" he cut me off kissing me again and began to pull my shirt off. I began to scream but he didnt stop until Lucien ran into my room "things not going according to your plan feyre" he said expecting me to be screaming over something else. He looked at tamlin on top of me and saw the fear in my eyes. "Tam get off your scarring her" he looked tamlin in the eyes as Tamlin snarled and told him to get out. I began crying trapped under his huge figure with no way out. Tamlin looked into my eyes and slid off me. "Feyre" he began but I ran out the door needing to escape even if I didnt have my shirt on. I ran out into the hall and down the stairs wide eyed and messy haired. I ran to the most secluded room in the manor my art room and backed into a corner. I slid down the wall and pulled my knees to my chest not knowing when I fell asleep. I woke up to frantic running around in the halls. I peeked out the door and saw servants, tamlim, and even lucien running around frantically. I caught sight of lucien and grabbed his arm pulling him inside the art room. He went wide eyed at the sight of me with no shirt on. "What going on?" He opened his mouth and screamed out the door. "FOUND HER!" I slowly backed into the corner again not realizing that in my sleep I had completely glamored the art room the way I did the tattoo on my right arm marking my new title as high lady. A second later tamlin was bursting into the room frantic as ever. "Feyre. I.. I'm so sorry" I looked him up and down as I placed a hand in his face and said "save it!" I made sure my words had bite in them to show him how pissed I was and. I turned to glare at both of them as I walked out the door in only my bra and pants. Servants stared at me as I walked through the manor but I ignored them as I walked to my room and slammed the door. I put on a cotton sweater that was knee length and I sat on my bed reaching deep into the bond that I worked so hard at the keep hidden. Rhys are you there. Even in my head my words were shaky. A second later a response came. I felt your anger and fear down the bond what going on. I felt him send love down the bond and my toes curled as I replied. Tamlin tried to force himself on me and I just really needed to hear your voice. I began crying and slowly fell into a heavy sleep.
3 day later- it's been three days since the incident and I havent left my room. I wake up call alis to bring me breakfast stare outside hoping to return home. Go inside call alis for lunch then use my face hearing to listen to tam and lucien in case they have and information. Then I call alis for dinner and I read untill I fall asleep. It's been the same thing for three day but today was different. I looked into my armoir and found a lavender dress that suited my full silver blue eyes and put it on. I looked into the mirror and applied a glamor to my face so I looked more alive and then I brushed out my hair not bothering to braid it today.

I made my way into the dining room just in time for breakfast. I felt tamlins shes on me as I took a seat to his left right across from lucien. I didnt look at either of them as I began to pile food onto my plate. As I look up from my plate I notice both of then staring at me but I dont design to say anything. "You look lovely today feyre" I could hear the bite in his words he still didnt trust me. I held his stare with ice in my eyes. I didnt acknowledge his compliment as I began to eat my food. After lunch I approached tamlin knowing if I was going to spy I had to make up with him. I walked over to where he sat at the end of the table and bent down till I was eye level with him. "I need to talk to you" he looked up and managed to stammer out "I..I... Ok" I looked him dead in the eye as he sat there "Privately dumbass" he looked astounded at how i was talking to him but he stood up and walked over to me. I pulled him into his study and he began talking "Feyre I am so so sorry" I watched him carefully as I said "I forgive you tam but I need time you knew I needed time" he looked super guilty as I turned around and walked out the door and into the art room. I grabbed my supplies and winnowed into the garden. I set up my supplies and began to paint. Time to paint what my mind saw as the spring court.