Randy - These Days

Feelings III

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(Rye's POV)

"What the hell, Brooklyn, stop screaming at me, you f*cking..."

"...annoying idiot." 'What the hell, why would Brooklyn shout at me? And I listened to him, but he needs to bring up Andy and me so often, why can't he simply stop doing that. F*ck, I called Brooklyn an Idiot,' I felt bad for calling him that, as he sometimes said that he felt he was so dumb in comparison to the rest of us, especially compared to Andy and me.

Brooklyn looked slightly afraid and moved away a little bit from me. 'I don't know what is up with me lately since Andy getting kidnapped I snap a lot faster. I am sorry, Brookie. I really am.'

"Sorry, I didn't want to scream at you Brook, but why did you scream my name? And I am so sorry for calling you an idiot," 'because he definitely isn't one.'

"I called your name for the last ten minutes, you were totally lost in your thoughts and you looked like you were panicking and I didn't know how I could get you back here, so I shouted, I am sorry for that, but tell me what is up with you," Brooklyn explained.

'I was in thoughts for the last ten minutes..., shit, what does he think now, he needs to stop thinking about Andy and me, we will never be anything more than bandmates, I wish we could, but I was too afraid to tell anyone', 'stop, stop, stop, I can't think like that, I am straight,' it got harder and harder every time I thought about Andy, heard him, saw him, cuddled with him; with every kiss for the camera we gave each other I could deny less and less that a storm of butterflies appeared and that I fell for him, I nearly let my feelings for Andy slip some time ago, I nearly did, but in the last moment I caught myself and didn't say anything at all. Sometimes I wish I did, sometimes I wish I could go back to the day we first met and start it of differently, why was I so dumb and arrogant, why did I need to show him my abs, why did I tried to prove to him how cool I am. Why did I think he would care so much about looks. I wish I would have been more intelligent back then. But I wasn't, I was me, the real me, not the one I showed towards the outside, the funny and nice person, I was an arrogant asshole, why else would be the thing I define myself about be my abs. Shouldn't a person define themselves over their personality, because that makes us what we truly are because that is what matters in the end.

"I am just worried, because one of the members of our band is in the hospital," I knew this wouldn't be enough to make Brooklyn stop, because we all were worried, Brooklyn ate even more than he normally would do and that already is quite a lot, please don't ask me what is Brooklyn's secret to stay that thin, I asked myself that from time to time.

"Rye, if you need someone to talk to you, you can always talk with me. Or I'll say it again, finally talk with Andy."

"Can't you stop talking about me and Andy?"

"Wait didn't you have fewer slices of that pizza?" I was slightly confused, 'this can't be his fifth, can it?'

"What? Ryan, this is a new one," he said it like it's the most obvious thing ever, because who doesn't eat five pizzas in one go, "I need to work on the food baby," 'what? food baby?'

"That's your fifth one? You are crazy. Don't get sick on me. And what does 'food baby' mean, you want to gain weight or what?" I asked now being really confused.

"I am not getting sick from five pizzas and I am not fat, who do you think I am, Andy?" Brooklyn laughed. 'What the hell,' I looked at him really angry, 'why would he bring in Andy? And why the hell would he call Andy fat?'