Randy - These Days

Help Me

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Date: Starts shortly after 10 pm on 9th March 2018,

XXX

(Andy's POV)

Everything started to turn black, but before I lost myself in the darkness, that promised to end the pain, that was consuming me, I could feel something be placed in my mouth and I breathed in as well as I could and tasted the slightly odd flavour I could recognise everywhere, someone had placed the asthma spray into my mouth, I could feel the first few molecules of oxygen reaching my lungs, sending a wave of relief through me, not yet enough to wash away the darkness fighting against the light. I could feel the spray getting pulled out of my lung as the stream of air reaching my lungs slimmed down and the pain returned twice as powerful as before. I felt like someone tried to rip me apart while squashing me. I felt helpless, I could do nothing to stop it, nothing to make it better, I was so dependent on other people, it scared me, sending me deeper into the attack, I hated it, I hated myself for being so weak. Why couldn't I be strong? The fact that I panicked and didn't keep calm send me in deeper and deeper. It felt like I was slowly suffocating. I heard someone telling me to breathe in again on the count of three.

"Three, two, one, now," I could place it at Rye's voice, 'or maybe I am just imagining that it's him because I want him to help me because I need him right now.'

'No, not just right now, I need him.'

I breathed in, hoping I didn't just imagine the voice and I didn't, I could taste it again, Rye counted down again and I could feel something softly, as light as a feather, wrapping itself around me.

The first breath I took in again, felt like I was reborn. It was stupid, but I still told myself, that I did it. Concentrating on my breath I tried to go back into reality again, I opened my eyes again, to see Rye's upper chest, he had his arms wrapped around me, so softly, so carefully, yet they were firm and strong and gave me something to hold onto.

"Fovvs," was all he said, but within it, I could hear what he wanted to say to me.

"Rye, I am sorry, I didn't want to worry you, where are the others?"

"Andy, it's okay, as long as you are. They already walked home," Rye looked so worried, it almost broke my heart.

"Rye-pie, I am okay, thanks to you," I started to smile at him and laughed because again it was him that saved me, the damsel in distress. How embarrassing.

I coughed again because laughing isn't what you should do so soon after an asthma attack.

"Andy, Fovvs," Rye sounded panicked, he looked at me and seemed to remember that panicking isn't helpful in such a situation, "Fovvs, it's okay, just breathe with me, slowly and deeply, in and out, in and out," he had put my hand close to his heart, so I could feel how his chest moved with every breath he took, I tried to match his breathing concentrating on his breathing and the constant beat of his heart, that was quite fast showing how worried he was.

I started to cough again and again and I could feel something wrapping around my chest again, "Rye, it's," it got worse, "it's not over.'

He immediately had my asthma spray at hand again and told me to concentrate on his breathing and his heartbeat. He counted down again and it felt like I finally really could breathe again. I felt so weirdly happy at that moment because it was over, I got through it. Normally I wouldn't be so terrified, by this was really bad.