Randy - These Days

Why did I?

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Date: 9th March starting around 2 am.

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(Rye's POV)

I pushed the door open, slowly and carefully, being afraid and excited of what would come next when I see Andy, it was dark inside, I whispered, "seems like they are already sleeping. I will look if Andy really is here." I just needed to know if he really was here.

"Do that," Mikey said, "I'll come with you." 'Well, it's your room too, so I could hardly stop you from doing that.' But because I wanted to light up the situation a little bit, I decided to mess a little with him.

"Oh, what really, I wouldn't have expected that, how could I? It's just your and his room," I wanted Andy and me to share a room, but I guess some things aren't meant to be and 'maybe sometimes its better like it is.' Even though I didn't know if this really was one of those cases. It at least made it easier to ignore any feelings I might had caught.

"I want to see too if he is here," Brook and Jack said together and Harvey agreed with them, "okay, then I guess we should take a look."

But I feared that might not be the best idea, as I had no idea how I would react if we opened the door just to find no one apart from Zach being in there, even though Zach is supposed to sleep in my bed. I would probably freak out because I didn't have myself under control like I normally would and a part of me didn't want them to come with me, because I didn't want to cry in front of them when he wasn't here. But my train of thoughts stopped when we stood in front of the door. We slowly opened the door to their room and I could see Andy sleeping peacefully on his bed, breathing softly and evenly, lips slightly parted. His hair falling over his head adorably. One of his feet protruded from the blanket. His head turned towards the door. Beautiful, simply beautiful.

Zach was lying on an air mattress between Andy's and Mikey's bed, "what, why is Zach lying there like that?" That wasn't something I expected at all, I would have guessed that they would be at each other's throat after just a few minutes, but it looked like they got along quite well. "I guess we can be happy that they seem to have gotten along at least okay. It seems like Andy is still able to make people be friends again."

"Yeah," Mikey agreed with me, "that means if I wake up tomorrow morning it won't be because of Zach and Andy screaming at each other, that's a plus." I knew Mikey just tried to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, but it might be Andy and me screaming at each other, you know that," my facial expression remained neutral, I wasn't going to show how afraid I was of that, because I didn't want to fight with him, more like the opposite. (-A/N-he means the other word with f;))

But I also couldn't forget what I did to him, I screamed at him. To be honest it had already started with the video shoot, it was just too fucking adorable how he tried the jumping scene and I laughed about it, despite knowing, that it was embarrassing for him and the worst was I knew it, yet I still told Harvey and made sure the others would all remember it. After that when we returned home I heard Brook and Andy talking about Andy wanting to not make something awkward. But he wasn't willing to tell me what and I reacted to that more rudely than I should have or was appropriate for the situation. Then I watched Vampire Diaries with Mikey, while I normally always would watch with Andy, I loved our Netflix and cuddle evenings. And on the next morning, Andy went outside at 6:30 am, that would be early for me, but for Andy that is incredibly early and the weather wasn't really good, it was raining and then it got really windy and the rain got worth, a full-blown storm. And Fovvs got kidnapped on that day and could have died in a car crash. I never ever want to feel like that again, I think that was the worst day in my life, not knowing if Andy was alive or not if I could ever see him again. It was pure horror, I can't explain how much it hurt. I... it still made me feel absolutely awful and I still could feel the fear filling my body making me only think about that. How the fear grew throughout the day into an everything consuming monster. Our frantic search for him, the moment I realised that it really was Andy inside the crashed van and when I listened in on what the paramedic said, that Andy could possibly be dead. It was ripping my heart apart. Just thinking about that makes my heart ache again. And then we got told that he didn't sustain any major injuries it was an incredible feeling of relief and happiness, because he wasn't hurt too badly. But it didn't change the fact that he got kidnapped, something that would properly means that he would get scared even easier than before it. Which would lead to my protective side taking over more often and that wasn't a good thing it was harder to act normal around him when I was protecting him from something.