Randy - These Days

Feelings

Hi,

how are you all?

Thanks for reading this story.

Here is another chapter:)

And they took the picture in a street called 'gay street':) (If that doesn't mean something ;) I don't know what does)

Sorry, for not updating in two full weeks.

It also will be longer than 4000 words (again) (yeah, I know, I said 2000 to 4000 words, but those chapters always turn out longer than planned, okay that might be due to the fact, that I just have a rough idea about what is supposed to happen and the chapters have an incredibly strong will themselves, lol, actually the chapters one to four average is 3987.75 words without notes and 4229.5 words with notes).

Enjoy:*

XXX

(Rye's POV)

"Okay, I am going to start from the beginning. I left the house in the morning at 7 am," I looked at him shocked, 'at 7 am, so he was out in the cold twelve hours or nearly twelve,' I felt so bad for him.

I tried to hide how shocked I was and focused my concentration back on Andy. 'Despite what he has been through he still looks strong,' I thought to myself, being, as weird as it seemed to me in that particular moment, proud of Andy, but I also knew that he will need somebody to talk with, whom he can talk about everything, so I already had my mind fixed on getting him some sessions with a therapist, as long as he agreed, because I knew I couldn't force him to do that and I wouldn't do that. I also hoped he would trust me enough, so I can be there for him, I hoped he would tell me if anything is eating him up on the inside, if he was hurt by something or someone or when what happened pulls him down and make him feel bad or anxious and he felt couldn't take it anymore, at least not alone. The need to protect him grew stronger in me, I promised myself to protect him not much after we first meet, because he was an amazing person, but I failed, I wasn't there when he needed me. He might look strong and he really is in some ways, actually in a lot of ways, but he also is vulnerable, he is a person that really takes things to his heart and tends to bottle up feelings, thinking it is easier for everyone that way, while the truth most of the time is, that it's hard on everyone, because once the feelings explode they are much stronger than before and less controllable and the only thing that really happens that the main damage gets partly postponed. And all the damage bottling up emotions can do to one person before they even burst out. I feared he would try to stay strong for us, him and me we were like the parents of the other three in a way and I guess you could say we adopted Harvey too. The first one that said that was actually Brook. I need to smile when I thought about that moment, how Andy comforted Brook when he needed it and Brook called him and me his parents in a joking manner, how it made me happy because it showed Brooklyn hadn't lost his humour and was getting better again. And it showed a caring and protective side of Andy, that I adored. This was probably the first moment I couldn't deny any longer that I felt more for him than I should and that I wasn't as straight as I claimed to be and tried to convince myself.

I looked at the police officer and tried to ask them without saying anything if I was allowed to get closer to Andy, to give him the strength, to talk about everything that happened. They both gave me a nod to move closer to him so, I closed most of the distance between us and carefully took his hand. It was smaller than mine and more fragile, yet it gave me strength, it was soft but also bruised up. 'Wait why are his hands bruised up on the inside so much,' I worried, I could only imagine one scenario where that could happen and I didn't want to imagine that, I couldn't because I knew, I couldn't control my emotions after imagining that. I instead put my whole focus on Andy again, him being here, him while having bruises, in general being okay. I concentrated on how beautiful he truly was. I couldn't really deny what I felt towards this incredible young man, but I tried none the less. I looked at my hand holding his, smiling on the inside.