Sinner

Yoongi

    I stare blankly out the window ignoring Namjoon as he tries to annoy me endlessly. My body shakes and aches from withdrawals. He keeps teases me with more drugs for favors but I refuse to give in.
     I have to stay strong though I don't even know what the point is. My fingers numbly trace over the knife I stole from him, hidden under the window seal.
     I need to see Jimin. I need to talk to him before I do anything rash. Something in my gut tells me not to believe in those stupid pictures even though they are obviously real. Stupid hope, I guess. I don't want to give our love up. Don't want to think he'd really give us up like that.
     It's been a week and I have two left. Visiting day is today. I have no idea if Jimin is even coming. I guess I'll find it all out day. If he doesn't show it means our love is nothing. It means Namjoon won. I hate the thought.
     Maybe that's why I don't want to believe it. I don't want to give him that power over us. I think we're stronger than that.
     The door swings open that our familiar nurse smiles. "Min Yoongi? You have a visitor."
     My heat leaps in my throat as I slowly walk down the lob white hall to the visitation room. I stop breathing seeing my beautiful boyfriend sitting, waiting for me. His eyes widen and tears fill his eyes when he sees me.
     I know I look horrible. My lip is cut and I have bruises all over me. My hands shake from my need to take more drugs.
     I approach the table and notice barely visible bruises on his wrists and neck as well. I frown. Don't say anything. I just sit and stare at him. He does the same.
     It's like the world disappears and I'm brought back to the very first time I met this boy. So long ago. We've come so far and been through so much together.
     I reach my hand out and he immediately snatches it, squeezing hard, the tears over spilling. "Yoongi." He chokes out.
     I hold back my own tears. "Jiminie." I whisper.
     And that's it. That's all I need at this moment to stay strong. I hug him hard, kissing his soft lips desperately, missing him. Everything about him. He sobs against my chest and I rest my head on his.
     "Yoongi...I'm so sorry." He gasps out. "I d-didn't do it! Please believe me." He cries.
     I pull back and wipe his tears. Sharing his pain. "I believe you." I have to. It's all I have.
     He touches my busted lip. "Did Namjoon do this?" He demands angrily.
    "How did you know..."
    "Those pictures..." He shudders. "I w-was forced, Yoongi. It was all Namjoon. I wouldn't do that to us ever again. He wanted to hurt us, break us apart. Jin found out he got sent here. Why is he doing this to us?" He gasps out.
     I close my eyes and just hold him tight. "I don't know, baby. He blames me for being put in here. It's all my fault. You got hurt because of me." I sigh.
    I can take everything on myself but no one hurts my baby. He doesn't deserve to get mixed into this. They will pay for this. I swear on my life they will pay.
    "Shh, baby. I love you, Jimin. I'll take care of this, okay? Don't cry." I kiss him over and over.
      He clings to me. "I love you, too. I wish you could get out now. I n-need you."
     I sigh, frustrated. I hate this place. "I will try to get out as soon as possible. Wait for me?" I plead.
    He smiles through his tears. "Always. I'll always wait for you."

     After visitation ends, I stride determinedly back to my room. Rage fueling me. I close the door to see Namjoon lounging on his bed, still playing on his stupid phone.
     He looks up to see me glaring at him. "What the fuck you lookin at, angel boy? Little boyfriend dump you?" He laughs.
     I snap. I launch across the room and climb on top of him, punching him repeatedly in the face over and over. He grunts in pain and tries to fight me off but my anger is too great, overpowering the both of us as I unleash my pent up rage.
     I slam his head against the headboard over and over until he stops moving. Blood covers our white scrubs. I have no idea how long it takes for me to stop. I just completely blacked out.
     When I finally come to...I look down to see Namjoon's cold flat expressionless eyes glazed over and staring right into mine. I release his throat in shock.  
     He's dead.
     I killed him.
     I killed someone...oh my god....I killed him. I stare at my bloody hands and gag, falling off his stiff body to throw up on the floor. My intention wasn't to murder...it's his fault!
     Why did he have to keep pushing...why did he have to make me do this...why did he have to hurt Jimin...
    I wipe my mouth and try to think of what to do. No one can know what I did. I can't go to prison. I'll never get out and I'll never be able to see Jimin again. Shit.
     My gaze falls on Namjoon's cell phone that he dropped and I pick it up. Tucking it into my pocket, I slowly get up and, in a daze, wash my hands in our sink. I scrub my skin, stripping naked and scrubbing every inch of my body raw.
     I grab one of Namjoon's bags and stuffy soiled clothes inside it. I look at the time. The nurse comes to get us for dinner in two hours. I have two hours to think of someway out of here. There's no way I can get out of this.