Sinner

Hoseok

     "Are you sure you don't care if I invite some friends over? They aren't...exactly...ya know...holy." I frown, trying to say it as nice as possible. My friends are assholes and manwhores. Not exactly people Jin is used to being around, I think.
      He chuckles, shaking his head. "It's fine. This is your home, too. Invite whoever you want." He smiles and finishes the dinner he's making for us and my coming friends.
      I get distracted watching him work in the kitchen for a long time...
    I'm startled out of it by a knock at the door. I jump up and let my friend, Namjoon and his little brother, Taehyung in. Who also brought his boyfriend, Jungkook-which happens to be Jimin's little brother. Crazy small world.
      "Aye! Long time no see." Namjoon hugs me hard before heading towards the kitchen where Jin stands with arms crossed, smiling. I can tell he's struck by Jin's beauty as well as I can't help the pang of jealousy I feel as they shake hands. Namjoon's eyes running up and down Jin's body, very obviously.
Jin isn't mine. Not really. I want him to be and I want to be his but he refuses to accept me until he finishes up all his holy work. Since that night...that amazing night...he hasn't touched me again. Said he was scared to and barely looks at me too hard.
He says that he will eventually have to step down as priest but has to finish things first, help as many as he can until the end. Only then will he consider me as his. Only then will he touch me again. I'm dying from the wait. It's been years! I'm tired of waiting.
"Hello. I'm Seokjin. You can call me Jin." He says, pulling away as Namjoon continues to check him out.
"Oh? Hello, I'm Kim Namjoon." He smirks, moving to sit beside Tae and Jungkook on the couch as I turn on the movie we planned to watch while having dinner.
Jin brings out large platters to the table and we all dig in graciously laughing maniacally as Deadpool kicks ass, I nudge Jin as he blushes at all the sexual parts and references.

     It's fun. I even get a phone call in from Yoongi hyung before its late. I smile as Jin offers for them to stay the night. I don't like it, though, as Namjoon follows him around the house like a lost puppy, asking tons of questions about random shit I know he doesn't care about.
I stalk them as Vkook fall asleep on the fold out couch. Seeing red as Namjoon keeps touching him. Oh hell no. I stomp into the kitchen and shove between them, grabbing a drink.
I feel Namjoon's smirk and lose it. Slamming my drink down, I calmly ask if I can speak to Jin alone. He agrees and I drag him into his bedroom.
I close the door firmly and crowd him against it. "What's wrong-"
I kiss him. Hard and seeking, my tongue forcibly shutting him up as he hesitantly kisses me back after his shock. I pull away with a gasp and keep our faces inches apart. "Why are you doing this to me?" I demand.
His eyes widen. "What are you talking about, Hoseok?"
I huff. "You know what! You keep putting me off knowing how I feel about you! You've been letting Namjoon hang all over you all night. I t-thought...I thought you...l-liked me too?" I stutter, feeling my bold actions calming down and embarrassment taking over.
      He frowns and takes my face in his hands. "I do like you. Way more than I should but-"
      "But what?! Why does there have to be a 'but'? Why can't you just like me and let me be with you! You know, Yoongi hyung already thinks we're together and he doesn't care anymore! Why are you doing this?" I sniffle, letting my tears finally fall after holding them in so long.
       He sighs and steps around me, sitting on the bed. "I'm just not ready yet, okay? It's me. I know I said I have a lot of things to do before...but really it's all just me being terrified of letting everything I've worked so hard for go and giving in." He admits quietly, a guilty look on his face.
      That's when it dawns on me. He's lied to me this whole time. For years! He has lied to me. He never really planned to be with me. He was just biding his time trying to think of excuses to give me. I stumble against the wall and slide down to the floor.
       "That's what this was? What I've been fucking waiting years for? For you to admit that you never had any plans of leaving your priesthood and being with me? After all this..." I stop. I can't continue. It's just too much. And his silence attests my suspicions. Funny how someone so fucking innocent can play me so well.
      Pressing my lips into a hard white line, I simply get up and walk out of his room. He doesn't follow me. Doesn't speak. Doesn't fucking try to apologize for wasting two years of my life!
      I ignore the guys downstairs and walk right to my room and close the door, locking it. I silently change into tonight clothes and crawl under the sheets, letting the years replay over and over in my head. Replay that night we had together. The best night of my life.
      Does he see it that way? Probably not. He probably forgot all about it just like his supposed feelings for me. Liar.
      He's just a fucking liar.