What's Life?

Not Really A Chapter: 6

"Brandon, are you ready? This story is going to start to pick up."

"Oh gosh."

His reaction seemed... accurate in this case.

So onto fifth grade.

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Now for once, it's not going to start with a piece of a teacher's dialogue.

I started to get depressed. Things were weighing me down, figuratively and literally. I was about 90 pounds in fourth grade. By the end of fifth, I was about 126 pounds.

As you can see, I started to binge on my eating. I always had and still continue to pluck my eyelashes out. I would draw on my skin with paperclips so that you'd see white lines dance across the red patches of skin.

I wore baggy clothes.

My father lost his job. We couldn't afford for me to go to gymnastics classes anymore; it was the one activity I truly enjoyed.

I took up playing the saxophone instead, and I started playing in the band. I had a class with my friend Andrew. We were well acquainted. I enjoyed playing saxophone though; it kind of replaced gymnastics.

But, I wouldn't talk to so many people. I was left an outcast anyway.

However, I was pretty smart. I would do good on tests and quizzes, and I had the most stickers in the class.

I was constantly self conscious though. How could I not be? I was fat, ugly, dumb...

I thought "Well it must be true considering that's what I've been told."

I was the definition of a nerd. I was just plain and ugly with acne starting and I had just gotten braces.

I was basically a social outcast. I always remained that friendly, quiet girl.

I loved to play kickball. I thought it was so much fun. And I was pretty good too. It was probably the only time those kids liked me.

But anyway, I had my friends and foes. I had like... two friends. One lived down the block from me and the other was a friend I've had since before preschool.

I guess I should tell an actual story. so I'll do so.

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So summer. Most kids like summer, right? I didn't. I had no friends, so summer was boring. Very boring. I went to camp. I had a little group of friends.

So there was this talent show.

I went on vacation. I went for about two weeks.

But there was about a week until the show.

And my "friends" were doing an act.

They didn't offer me to do it. they constantly practiced just so that I couldn't do anything with them. It was so horrible. I had to eat lunch alone a lot and spend nearly 5 hours alone.

And the day of the talent show I stayed in a bathroom stall.

And I cried.

I couldn't stop. I thought they had liked me, but they clearly didn't.

As time went on, I learned not to care.

That was a choice that didn't benefit me. I became too independent, and I actually liked to do many things on my own.

Because there was nobody there for me anyway.

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Well this was a long one. Different from the others right?