Comfort

Chapter Nine

Today was the day, Lydia's funeral.

I stand up, looking at my black dress, straightened hair and smile a weak smile at myself. I put on a little bit of mascara just to define my dark, gloomy black look.  My mom walks into my bedroom and gives me a slight smile. She looked great in her black dress and black heels. She wore her hair down and brushed.

"You look great." My mom said.

"Thank you." I said looking down and twirling my thumbs.

"Baby, your going to be fine okay?" She said looking down at me.

"Thank you." I repeated.

Without another word my mom walked out of my room.

I grab my phone and walk downstairs. I sigh a deep breath and I know what ever I am going to have to do, today is not going to be easy.

I see my dad waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs with a black tie on. He gives me a smile and then we head out of the front door.

We get into the car and I put my headphones in trying to avoid all the contact I had with my parents in the car.

I just wanted to be alone today.

We ride in the car for a little until we come to a halt outside of Josh's house. I forgot that we agreed to pick him up. I see Josh and his family waiting outside on his front door step. My mom gets out of the car and my dad gets out of the drivers seat to go greet the family.

I step out of the car and wrap my hands around Josh's neck. It feels like maybe he's the only one who knows how to comfort me.

"Hey." He whispered wrapping his arms around me. He smells really good.

" Hi, Mom." I greet Josh's mom. Ever since I remember me and Josh have been super close.  Him, Lydia and all we're always together.

Margaret, Josh's mother has always been like a second mother to me.

"Hi," She said giving me a false smile. Seems like everyone has been giving me those lately.

Margaret and Frank, Josh's dad, thanked my parents for being kind enough to drive Josh and my parents told them that it was no problem.

The whole car ride was quite.

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We finally get to the place where the funeral is taken place.  I step out of my car I walk into the church to be greeted by so many people with "I'm so sorry for your loss" and "she's in a better place now."

I know she's in a better place but that's not going to stop me from missing her and wishing she was still here with me.

The funeral starts and I turn my head to try and find Jayson. I see Jayson trying to hide his tears and Jayson's mom crying her eyes out on Jayson.

First Lydia's dad died and now Lydia.

I couldn't even begin to imagine how they were feeling.

"Now, we bring Lydia's best friend up to give a heartfelt speech." Whoever was speaking pulled me out of my thoughts and I made my way to the front of the church.

I took one last look at Jayson and his mom before starting my speech.

Thank you. Lydia was a very... unique person. She changed my life from since the day I met her. I never really understood how much Lydia played a part of my life. She was sweet, caring, very funny and all around the best person. There was never a day I was uninterested in Lydia. She was so trustworthy, loyal and kind and didn't deserve any of this. She deserved a better life, better friends... a... a better ending. I love you so much Lydia. We all do." I choked up in the ending. I couldn't go on I had to cut it short. I'm not satisfied thought. There aren't enough words to describe the kind of person she was and how much I admired her. I wish she'd really known that she was best thing to happen to me before all this. I don't think I could ever forgive myself.  

When I moved from the alter I ran out the doors at the back of the church. When I pushed open the big white doors I heard footsteps behind me but didn't bother to look behind me. The tears cam flowing down my eyes even more.

I hated feeling like this. Crying all the time but I couldn't help it. I crouched down against the wall and buried my face into my knees. I felt an arm around my shoulder comfortably pull me into their chest. I didn't even bother to look up at their face at this point. My body felt weak. I rested cuddled up against whoever had followed me out. 

After 5 minutes I felt calm and collected myself. I brought up the courage to break the comfortable position and identify who I was with. It was Jayson. 

I'd been cuddling with Jayson, like a little child because I couldn't stop crying.

He looked down at me and smiled at me and instantly I got goose bumps. He watched me with... with a certain look that just send a shiver through my body. I felt so comfortable beside him, but we should get back in now.

"Thank you," I muttered with a low voice. My eyes targeted the floor trying to avoid contact with him. 

"Are you better now?" He asked me with genuine concern evident in his face. I nodded and prepared to stand.

"You know it was pretty cute how you let me cuddle you." 

I couldn't help how red I got. I rushed in to my seat trying to hide it from him.

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The rest of the funeral was sad and an experience I never want to go through. Everyone I had seen had either a red nose or eyes or a tissue in hand. 

When we got home I went straight into my bed and just let the tiredness take over me. It was only 5pm and I hadn't eaten diner at all. After the service I had some hors d'oeuvres but I didn't want to go to the diner gathering they were having. I couldn't handle it all.  Seeing all of her family gathered in one place just made me super sad. I feel like I could have saved her or at least made her smile once in her last moments of life. I sigh loudly and slowly close my eyes and rest my head down on the pillow.

Before I knew it all my thoughts faded away as I let the numbness take over me and me fall into a much needed sleep.

School is going to be eventful tomorrow.