Dan saw a small bush next to the strip club and pushed the foleage aside and entered it. If felt like Phil entering his anus and it broke his heart. He lay in the bush with only his head submurged and began to whale.
No one loves me
"No one loves me" dan thought.
"I love you" said the Uber driver who for some reason is still here. "My names bobby burns and if you want you can have my Uber, someone just brought me a g wagon and I no longer need it. Consider it a gift from me to you Daniel James Howell I know all your secrets."
"You speak kind words bobby burns" dan said "I would love your car"
"Take it before it's stolen by the rich youtube community such as Jake Paul and Alfie deyes.
Be quick young child, also it's MOT is due and I'm not paying, from this moment onwards, the car belongs to you Daniel, and all it's expensive responsibilities."
Dan drove away in his new second hand '1976' 'reliant robin' that used to belong to the one and only 'bobby burns', feeling well chuffed with his purchase. It was nicer that the bush.
He heard a noise
Coming form the back seat
He turned around
He saw
Phil
