At His Mercy

Part 14

I'm not quite sure what I should wear to the meal. I look over the rails of clothes in the closet- beautiful, but none of them are me. I need to get my suitcase from my aunts. I call her and arrange for it to be delivered to Adam's house. She wants to see me, make sure I am ok -and of course I'm pretty sure Ami- Ji will want to meet her. I arrange for us to have lunch tomorrow afternoon to placate her. of course I love my aunt, and do want to see her. But I can't be sure what will happen between Adam and I.

I try not think about what Adam said at breakfast. The thought disturbs me and I am pretty sure- knowing my luck something will happen. I wonder if I should come clean with Ami Ji. let her know the arrangement is temporary and whether I should go and find a suitable doctor. I've made a grave mistake, one that would never have been overlooked by Adam. I want to believe we were caught in the moment and that it wasn't engineered by him since i initiated the whole thing. But there is a part of me that knows he isn't beyond that kind of underhand move. If he thinks that will keep me here, he has another thing coming. We will need to have a very important talk today.

The old me would have shied away from it, the thought of having that conversation would have been horrifying, but the new me is a grown up; practical and sensible.

I turn my attention back to the wardrobe. What would Ami Ji recommend?

I find her in the morning room reading. 'Ofcourse Beytah!' her eyes lighting up when I ask for her advice on clothes. I put my own outfits on the bed and she walks over to them. 'These?' she asks, I know I've made a mistake as soon as I say it, she chose the clothes in the wardrobe for me, it would be disrecptpful for me to disregard those and pick up my own.

'no, no,' I say quickly but she has picked up a silky blue shirt dress and holds it up under my chin.

'This one!' she says smiling. 'Beyta parlour ki appointment banou?' she asks tentatively. (shall I make an appointment at the Beauty clinic?). ofcourse she's right, most women here have the have makeup and hair done for special occasions. but I don't like the idea of having someone else's makeup on my face. what if I have an allergic reaction to what they put on me? As I stall, caught up in my own conflict, Ami Ji notices, 'Beyta it's ok, I know the perfect person!'

At 6.45pm Sharp, I'm ready. I sit with Ami Ji and Zara watching TV in the living room. There is some scandalous drama about a love triangle that Zara tries to explain to me. I stop asking questions and decide I will just try to figure it out as I go along. Things are not as easy between Zara and myself in the same way that they are with Ami Ji, but she seems to be getting used to the idea of me being there. She actually smiled when I came in the room and took a picture of my dress for her Instagram account. But I'm pretty sure she cropped my head out of it! Before I could engage her in conversation, the soap started.

I am about to ask Ami Ji about the investors, when Adam enters the room. As usual, he looks sharp in his dinner jacket. Deep green, with black lapels. I'm usually not very amused with trendy, dressy men, it makes me want to roll my eyes, but Adam looks so good it makes my mouth go dry. It's completely on trend and he wears it well. His white shirt is a stark contrast to his dark hair and again I am struck by how good looking he is in his beard. He barely looks at me and says 'shall we go?'

He doesn't extend his arm for me to take, but does take my dress coat from the banister and helps me into it. we don't take the driver, which surprises me, instead there is a porsche parked in the drive and he opens the door for me before moving across to the driver seat. His act of chivalry is all business and formal, reminding me that everything has changed between us. We are painfully polite to each other and the atmosphere is tense.

Once on the road I take a deep breath. 'We need to talk about protection.' I say emulating the matter-of-fact manner, which he's been using with me.

He gives me a side glance. 'I think its a bit late for that!' he says sardonically, now keeping his eyes on the road, avoiding the potholes.

'lets be honest- shall we and act a little bit grown up?' I try my best to reign in the irritation that seems to be building at his reckless comment. 'if we are going to be sleeping together, we need to be sensible!'

He doesn't look at me, his eyes locked in front of him. 'Yeah.' he says without emotion. That tone, I can never decipher what he really means, but seems to be a running theme in our interactions.

'Yeah, I'll sort it out? yeah I think you should sort it out? yeah lets stop having sex? could you be a little more clear?!' I can hear the annoyance in my own voice and hate myself for being baited so easily. I turn to look out of the window, to avoid saying anything further on the matter. The rest of the journey passes in silence.

From the corner of my eyes, I sneak peaks at his profile. Oh God he is so beautiful. His broad chest, those arms, even that jaw. How his eyes are so intense, before they were beautiful, but angry they are stunning. Brooding. I take a deep breath to even out my breathing as quietly as possible, so he won't notice. Flashes of last night flicker through my mind- the sheen of sweat on his pecks, the way he grit his teeth as he buried himself inside me that first time after so long, the growl of satisfaction as he changed the angle ever so slightly so he'd catch my g-spot and make me cry our from the painful pleasure. The feel of his steely grip on my skin...
I squeeze my legs together, tilting my knees away from him, without even realising. Of course, I see Adam turn to look at me, I see his head tilt to look down at my knees as he catches the movement and then up at my face. Shit. I can't bear to see the look on his face. Instead I continue to look out of the window, feigning nonchalance, but my cheeks are burning and I can feel the flush of heat from embarrassment creep up my neck. I can't bear the thought that he may be sniggering at me so I turn to glare at him, but he's turned back to the road.

He's grinning. He knows what I'm thinking!

The rest of the journey passes in silence.