Loving Secrets

F O U R

         "Oh my god I feel like someone is drilling a screw in the back of my head." I groaned and placed my hands on my forehead massaging it slowly.

        My mind was reimagining over the events of last night. I shouldn't have drunk so much, I shouldn't have been with chase in that room.

         I shouldn't have let James kiss me and I shouldn't have kissed him back.

         "Here." Sarah walked up and handed me a cup of water. "You need to drink lots of fluids."

         I took the cup from her hand. The cold water against my throat eased my mind. "Thanks."

        I sat the cup down on the table and laid back against the couch. All I wanted to do was sleep. My stomach was killing me. I felt like Knifes were being stabbed in me constantly.

       I hadn't talked to James since last night. He hasn't even came over to check on me. Maybe I made him mad because I told him I had to go. I mean the kiss was unexpected but it meant a lot.

        Or did it?

        "What do I do?" I asked Sarah. She looked at me bewildered. She didn't have an answer.

        I guess I had to figure out what to do myself.

        "I have an appointment so you're on your own." She placed her hand on my shoulder. "Do what you think you need to do." She got up from the couch and left.

       Sarah was always so helpful.

       I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and pushed in Lisa's number. I needed to talk to my best friend. Being without her is a living hell.

        "Wow you're actually calling me." She commented on the other end of the phone.

        "When are you coming to the city?" My voice quivered. The other end was quiet.

     "Are you okay Ellie?" She sounded concerned but I didn't want her to question me. I didn't want her to think I'd gone bad again.

       When Alice died... I changed. I think my whole family did. I'd drink almost every weekend. I mean not at party's just in my bedroom. Alone. I think one night I drank so much the next morning I couldn't leave the room. My parents didn't care. They just thought I was too sad to do anything.

         Lisa cane over to check on me. I guess because I wasn't answering my phone. When she got there I was a mess. I had puke in my hair and I was pale white color. I looked like i was dying. She took care of me. From then on every weekend she made sure I didn't drink.

    "Yes I just miss you that's all." I got up from the couch and started pacing back and forth. I was anxious for an answer.

     "I'll be there next ummm weekend." She sounded unconvinced that I was fine.

      I sighed. Why couldn't it be sooner. "Okay well I got to go help your sister. I'll call you back later." I lied and hung up the phone. "Shit!"

       I tossed my phone on the couch and stormed outside. I slammed the door. I turned around quickly running into someone.

      Whoever it was placed their hands on my shoulder trying to keep me from falling down. I looked up and standing in front of me was chase.

       How'd he find where I was staying?

        "Chase!" I squeaked. What was he doing here.