Left Alone

Mask

My eyes are burning, my chest is heaving. I thought it was over, I thought i was stronger.

I let you effect me to the bone. I promised I wouldn't let it happen again. But what can you do when it's the last person you have, last person you trust.

I want to hang on, I want to be here, by your side. You're proving me right, you're becoming like everyone else.

I've lost, I've lost, but I've still loved. I don't think I can anymore. I think I'm done, my chest hurts to much now. My heads pounding to hard now.

I wish I could have known. You were the last one left, I've held on so long hoping...

But I know, the more I hope, the more I'll get hurt. I hoped and I hoped but I've lost you too.

We walk by without a hello, we look at each other without communication. But I'm wrong, because you have so much to say.

You have so much to complain about. You push so much of your pain on me, without thinking.

I thought you'd realize by now, realize what you're doing to me. I'm still hanging on, but I'm not sure why.

You dont care about me anymore, you're to stuck in your world of grief. Well open your eyes, I'm here too.

I'm living the same life, in the same time and space. But I'll stand here with a blank face.

You scream and yell, over and over. Do you see me in front of you? Or do you see the people that have hurt you?

My eyes are burning, my chest is heaving. I thought it was over, I thought i was stronger.

I believed family was supposed to stand by your side forever. Well, I'm still standing by your side. Even while you drift farther away.

You left, and I feel lost. You were the last thing I was holding on to. I've wanted to leave so long now, but I stayed for you.

I thought you would come back to me. But your going farther away. Family... seems like the most venomous word alive.

You were what I had left, the rest have caused so much misery then ran. Sadly I'm watching and letting you do the same.

I told myself I would never let this happen again, but there you go. Blaming me, yelling at me, screaming in my face.

I watch you storm off, slowly blinking away my tears. The pain hurts but ive slowly become numb to it.

You seem to find everything I do wrong, I'm wrong for getting mad, I'm wrong for being okay, I'm wrong for not crying. Well, I'm sorry, but you've all built this mask on me.

I can't seem to break it, your words will stay in my mind adding to the collection.

Looking down now, staring at my blood. Maybe it was wrong, maybe you were all right. Maybe I'm the one to blame.

But I think you're all wrong. Ive been here while you all got shit on, just for you all to shit on me.

It's okay though, because I'll be free one day. I'll be on my own, I'll be able to face my struggles without the weight of yours on my shoulders.

I'll be able to actually smile, I'll be able to finally cry. I'll be able to break this mask you've all built on me.