Left Alone

Fuck

You always spoke so highly of your beliefs, you spoke so highly of life. Looking around I see all the things that used to be a part of your life.

You spoke so highly, you spoke so softly. It's funny how people can believe so much just for that belief to be their death.

I feel like I'm spinning in circles now, you always spoke so highly of your beliefs, you spoke so highly of life. You warned me, you yelled and screamed just for me to believe that it wasn't right.

Your voice is all I hear, your words running in my head. Your words were the thing that you always stood by, said that no one could take.

Well you took your own word. The irony of life, the irony of your beliefs. You always spoke so highly of your beliefs, you spoke so highly of life.

It's like a double edged sword, you told me it was so wrong. To feel or think this way, but where are you now.

Your beliefs led you astray, I wish I could reach out and speak so highly of life, speak so highly of your beliefs.

You warned me of these things, these thoughts. You tried so hard to warn me, you forgot to remind yourself.

I'm here alone now, I'm just a dumb kid to everyone around. I try so hard to make them see, make them believe so highly as you did.

You always spoke so highly of your beliefs, you spoke so highly of life. Your life was your belief and you took it away.

You took your own word,. You took everything you had, everything I think I needed so much I thought I couldn't move on.

But I'm trying so hard now, I'm reaching out but your not there anymore to hold onto. Where do I go, where do I turn.

My beliefs are a mystery I don't have your guidinece anymore. No one else cares, no one else sees. You were all I had. Why am I so wrong, why am I such a disappointment.

You always spoke so highly of your beliefs, you spoke so highly of life. You took both away. I wish you could be here, I wouldn't have to worry, I wouldn't have to think of you the way I do.

I miss you so much I'm tearing myself apart but you are no where to be found, no where to be reached. I remember the days after you left, calling your phone, leaving message after message and hoping you would answer or show up one day. I loved you past death because I still love you and forever will.

Your beliefs, your word, why did that have to rake you away. Why am I sitting here alone without you out here too. Why am I sitting here alone in misery, hoping you would show up.

Sitting here trying to fight my mind, trying to not let your beliefs take me too. I don't know how much more I can take. I've been trying but I'm dying to do something. I can't take this anymore, where are you where is this freedom where can I finally breath and not have to come back to this place.

When does your belief kick in, I'm believing just for you, I'm fighting just for you, why am I sitting here alone. At least one thing to help or see. See why I'm so much of bother that no ones wants to be around.

Even ones that at one time seemed to care is so far now. You were so far but still stayed by my side, but your beliefs and your word took you from my side. Your so far and so much distance between us I can't feel you here anymore.

I can't get that hug, I can't get that one word, or that anger that used to be. I want to see you so bad, talk about all the things I've been through, all I have done.

But I can't say a word because your not here. I'm sitting here alone and fighting, fighting some darkness that has became heavier since you've gone, I thought it was bad before but now I'm not only drowning.

I've drowned and am fighting to wake back up. I've downed and I am fighting for one breath. There I not fight to swim when there is no water, no more fight left.

Your beliefs and your word killed you and I feel mine slowly killing me. Why is this always what kills us, why is life so double sided, can't I just hang on, hang onto you and not let go, can't you be here, us laughing to death and making jokes and screaming nonsense along to the radio.