Left Alone

Life is Fine

Thoughts and feelings seem to be a swirling storm inside me.

My thoughts are collected but scattered, but I can speak clearly. My feelings are dark and weary but I still seem to smile.

Holding everything in, like you told me I should do, just to make you and him happy.

You guys seem to always be yelling and screaming. Then ask me what's my problem, saying that my life is fine.

You say your life's a nightmare but mine is fine. Really? I thought we were in this hole together? You guys brought me here with you, but expect me to be happy.

You yell, scream, and vent to me, about how shitty your life is. Yet, I can never say a word, you always tell that my life's fine.

I can't show anything I feel, i can't say anything I think. You tell me I get mad to easy, you tell me I need to grow up, you tell me I need to stop acting like I have nothing.

Well, I know I have the material things, a house, clothes, and food. But I don't have what used to be here.

I don't have a home, family, trust. Everything you say I have. Well, I guess I'll let you vent, yell and scream at me. While I'll stand here with a blank face.

I'll deal with your lectures of my attitude, because I know that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I have to show something. I'm sorry that I have to have a deflection of my pain. So you seem to think I'm happy. So you seem to think I'm fine.

You told me I have anger issues... i cant believe things that your saying now. Before it was all about you, now it's all about you blaming me.

You told me my life is fine. Then why do I only see shattered pieces of it surrounding me.

My happy memories seem to be old dreams. My life seems to be a dark cloud of all the bad times.

But I guess... like you've said... My life is fine.

I appreciate what I have, I appreciate I at least have a house, but I wish I still had a home.

I appreciate that I wake up everyday, i appreciate that I'm alive and breathing. I appreciate my pain, because I rather feel the pain then nothing at all.

So I guess your right... Life is Fine.