A Forbidden Love

Chapter 5: Breathing Out

At McGonagall's words, I shoot out of Crabbe and Goyle's arms and run down the hall. I run all the way to the common room, up the stairs to the boys dorm, and fall face down on my bed. By the time Crabbe and Goyle reach me, I'm already in the middle of a break down.

"It's not fair!" I yell. "It's so totally not fair. I hate Potter! I hate him!"

I hate him for rejecting me. I hate him for causing me to make a fool of myself. I hate him for always getting his way. I hate him for getting special privileges. I hate that he gets to be on the Quidditch team with no flying experience and I don't with all of mine. I hate him for always being so impressive. I hate him for being so cute. I just hate him.

Crabbe and Goyle know better than to comfort me or say anything to me when I'm having a fit. It upsets and angers me more when I appear weak to others. Instead, they just stand guard at the door, not letting anyone in until my fit is over.

I can feel their pitiful gazes as I lay there screaming and crying. If only they knew the worst of it. I'm just thankful that they're there to protect me. I would never say it, but I am.

When I finally calm down, they're still standing in the doorway, keeping others out for me. I'm touched and decide they deserve to know. I should come out to them.

"Crabbe. Goyle. Come here."

"Yes? Sir?" They respond in unison. I like being called sir.

"I have something to tell you guys," I start. "I understand if you don't want to be seen with me ever again, but I think you deserve to know." They look at me confused. I take a deep breath. "I'm... bisexual."

The confusion stays in their face. I begin to think they might be too thick to understand what I mean. They look at each other, and some understanding passes between them.

Crabbe slaps me on the back and says, "Don't worry dude. We'll be with you no matter what."

"Yeah," Goyle adds. "We will always have your back."

I beam up at them. "Thanks guys." I quickly add, "Nothing's going to change. We're still going bully and torture the way we have before. I don't want anyone to know."

"Of course, sir," Crabbe says. "Nothing will change."

"How did you know, though?" Goyle asks.

His question shocks me. I didn't plan for this one. I guess I should answer, though.

"Promise not to laugh?" They do. "As soon as I met Potter, I've had a crush on him."

Both their jaws drop, but they compose themselves quickly. They pull me in to a tight bear hug to let me know that nothing has changed between us. I am thankful to have them.

Just as we break apart, Blaise Zabini, one of the friends I made at the feast on day one, walks in. He's grinning from ear to ear.

"I didn't want to interrupt, but I heard your entire conversation," he says.

I jump up, planning to yell at him for eaves dropping but Crabbe and Goyle hold me back.

He holds up a hand and says, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. You welcomed me in at the initial feast when no one else would. I can keep this secret for you."

I relax. "Thanks," I say, super embarrassed.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, you know," he adds. "I'm sure many kids in this school are gay or bi. Heck, I've even seen Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan shooting lusty looks at each other in class. They're definitely bi or gay for each other."

"Thank you, Blaise," I say, finally fully relaxed. "That comment means a lot to me." I fist bump him.

Heading to dinner that night, I'm in a good mood. When we arrive, everyone asks me why I left flying lessons. I realize I didn't have an excuse planned. Thankfully, Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise had me covered.

"We had potion homework and didn't figure Madam Hooch was coming back," Crabbe says.

"Yeah. Don't you remember us telling you?" Goyle asks.

"I told you to come get us if she came back, didn't I?" Blaise adds.

Everyone seems to vaguely remember this fake event, and they're satisfied. We all go back to eating and I mutter my thank yous to them. I swear I've said thank you more in the past four hours than I have in my entire life.

I look up, between plates, and see Potter looking over at us. His face is lit up with a smile bigger than his face. It's adorable, I think, then yell at myself for doing so. I'm still not over being angry at him, and that gloating expression doesn't make it any better. I scowl and stand to make fun of him. Crabbe and Goyle follow.

"When are you getting the train back to the Muggles?" I ask rudely. Crabbe and Goyle laugh. I'm happy they're making things normal.

"You're a lot braver now that you're back on the ground and you've got your little friends with you," he says coolly.

As cute as he is, he always succeeds in pissing me off. I challenge him to a midnight duel in the trophy room. He obviously accepts. I don't like it, though. I only said it to threaten and scare him. Now I'm kind of worried.

"You're not going to be able to duel him, are you?" Crabbe whispers as we walk back.

"Shut up!" I shoot back. Then add quietly, "You're right. I probably won't."

"What are you going to do?" Goyle asks.

I honestly don't know. I think for a few seconds, then it hits me.

"I'll tip off Filch that he's going to be in the trophy room at midnight. They'll lose house points, but no one will be killed or expelled."

Crabbe and Goyle grin like they like my idea. All three of us are excited to do it.

After dinner, we head straight to Filch's office. We knock on the door and wait. I hear Mrs. Norris, his cat, purring inside before I hear him.

"Come in," he says.

Before I'm even through the door I start talking. "Filch. You won't believe what I just heard. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are planning to search the trophy room tonight. After hours! Midnight they said." I add the last part for emphasis.

"Nasty little children," he mutters. "Thank you err..."

"Draco."

"Yes. Thank you Draco. I'll be sure you are rewarded for your excellence."

Once the door shuts behind us, we grin at each other. I'm getting my revenge on Potter without having to do anything to him or getting him expelled, and I'm getting rewarded for it. That went better than planned.

We head back to the common room. Everyone is milling around doing homework and playing games, but I go straight to the dorms. Tonight, I'll be able to get a good night's sleep, knowing Potter will pay for this afternoon's events.