seventeen

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superficial love

chapter seventeen - park chaeyoung.

    ❦

    I've never enjoyed the snow much.
Coming from New Zealand to Korea, it had been a big change having to bundle up during the  snot-dripping, cough-catching, cold seasons.
Of course, I thought snow was beautiful at first.
The way it covered the branches of tree-tops like a soft blanket over the city of Seoul... the heaps of snow on hilltops that allowed for snow sledding, and the slippery flakes that aided in chilling the ice the girls and I enjoyed skating on during winter.
But in reality,
Was it all that great?
It was a hassle when it melted. It burns when holding it for too long- and don't even remind me of the many times i've slipped.
Snow is stupid.
Everything is stupid.

"Rosie." I hear, and my eyes cut from the window of my room to the doorway.
Jennie stands there- a towel in her hands which had been wrapped around a large bowl, covered by a small lid which balanced a pair of chopsticks on top.

"Hm?" I barely reply.
Jennie takes that as her cue to come in. The house was more quiet than usual as it were just us two home. Jisoo and Lisa had individual scheduling today.
Jennie donned a much more stylish outfit than me, wearing jeans and a brand-name crop top with her hair and makeup did up.
As I currently had no schedule, I've spent my first few days back in Korea suffering from what could possibly be an excruciatingly painful mix of heartbreak and jet-lag. Sweatpants, staying in bed, and sleeping all day were my current best friends- not communicating much with my actual friends.

"Well.
You haven't come out of your room in three days, and when you do, you just run right back after eating barely anything..." Jennie says, and I already want to lay back down, face the wall, and go back to sleep.

I just wanted to be alone.

"I don't have much of an appetite." I say, resting my chin onto my knees which I had pulled into my chest.

"Chaeng, if this is about Jaehyun-"

"It is.
It is about him." I blurt, annoyed of avoiding the topic of the ever-so-obvious elephant in the room.

My eyes unmoving from the ripples of the wrinkled linen sheets on my bed, I hear Jennie set the bowl down on my nightstand before I feel the weight of her body sink onto the edge of my bed.

"I know, Rosie." Jennie exhales.
" I know it sucks that he left you in the freaking United States to fly back to Korea for- God's sake, his ex-girlfriend... but have you both at least tried communicating with each other...?"

I shake my head immediately, scoffing.
"Are you kidding me? He hasn't called or texted since. I dropped any pride I had to send him a few texts asking him about Yerim's health, if she was okay or whatnot, as well as asked him to shoot me a call when he had the chance. He never freaking did, and he left me on read, Jennie!" I practically cry out, unbottling my emotions all at once. "God, I honestly just wish I never had to do this stupid thing in the first place!"

It wasn't many times that i'd be the one to express my emotions. I had always been the one to be there for the other girls, always the one to give them a shoulder to cry on. If we felt something was unfair, the other girls were the ones to react loudly or stand up for us- me, only nodding along. I was always one to hold my tongue. Always one to keep quiet, always the naive one. But this whole publicity stunt had truly taken a toll on me, and I had officially snapped.

Jennie nodded, sympathising with me. "He's an ass for that, that Jaehyun." She sighs.
Jennie had then reached out, taking hold of my hand.
"This has been a lot for you, Chaeyoung. And it hurts for us, all of us, to see you isolating yourself away. No one wants you hurt, and your girls are always here for you, you know that." Jennie squeezes my hand, and my heart begins to feel heavy.
"I want to be able to protect you from all of this. I want to block his number for you. I want to tell you to just stop crying and get over it. I want you to not have to be held responsible for whatever harmful feelings or backlash this rendezvous-that you didn't even want in the first place... brings." Jennie pauses.
"But unfortunately, it doesn't work like that." She scoots closer. "We don't get to experience a lot of things as idols. We really don't. I'm extremely grateful that our group has the success it has, but it's no secret that idols are overworked, underpaid, and stripped of so many life experiences.
You know I don't know much about the dating life myself, but I do know that sometimes, no matter how much we want something to work out, it just... doesn't."

I could feel my heart fall into my stomach as I was faced with the truth that I had desperately hoped wasn't true.
"Things like this," Jennie continues. "You grow from. You become a little stronger each time. I guess, a happily forever after in love doesn't exist when you're an idol." Jennie laughs bitterly.
"It sucks."

I had gone silent, the tight grip on my legs had loosened, and I had felt empty.

"Yeah." I manage to choke out, eyes closing as I felt the tears begin to build up.
But I couldn't hold it back anymore.

I began to sob.
An ugly, horrendous, heart-wrenching sob.
Jennie was quick to reach out and engulf me in a hug.
And so I cried some more.
All of the anger and hurt had been spilt out for the man who was Jung Jaehyun.
And it indeed did suck, because even after all that, all I wanted was to be in his arms.

However, my girls were always my number one, so I hugged Jennie back as tightly as I could.

"Hey, hey. You're Park motherfucking Chaeyoung, aren't you? Blackpink's power vocal. Blackpink's beautiful Park Chaeyoung. And you deserve the absolute best of the best." Jennie had hushed me, patting my hair as she held me tight for what felt like ten to fifteen minutes.

Succumbing into an ugly hiccup, I had suppressed my tears and swallowed them as I wiped at my eyes, fanning myself with my hands.
"I don't know what's gotten into me." I laugh through the tears, sitting up.

Jennie hands me my pink water bottle that I keep sitting on my bedside.
Taking it from her, I unscrew the top and drink the remainder day-old water left.

"You know...," my eyes had flickered to Jennie's, who remained fixed on her phone.
"What if we- no. YOU, went to confront him. In person." Jennie says, eyes then cutting to mine as her eyes illuminated with excitement.

I did a double- take. Did I just hear what I thought I had heard?

"Uh, what?" I ask, dumbfounded.

Jennie smirks. "That's right, you heard me.
You are going to get closure. I'll take you."

I stare at Jennie. Where was she even getting this idea from? With what permission? Or transportation? Or courage from my side?

"Jennie..." I pause.
"If you're serious... how are you going to take me? I doubt they'd let us even walk a step out of here, especially anywhere near SM grounds as it's out of our scheduling. How are we going to get in the hospital without being spotted- what if Jaehyun just really doesn't want to be with me anymore?" I worry, taking all possible precautions and accounting for any cons to this supposed plan.

"Rosé, please, please." Jennie hushes me.

"And this is why having connections is so important." Jennie grins.

She grabs one of my hands, then places her smartphone into my palm.

And before me, I am met with a chat log with no other than Lee Taeyong himself.

CALL ENDED : 48 min

JENNIERUBYJANE: So, this is happening for sure? Tonight.

TY_8 : Yep. Setting everything up on my end

TY_8 : lets hope this all goes smoothly... Don't want you guys to get in trouble.. trying to get all the help I can though.

TY_8 : forget it, let's just do it. I'll make this work.







it's been awhile, hm?
finally back. :)

- jinah

superficial love | jaerosé  Where stories live. Discover now