Sweet Satisfaction (Purple UGC Winner 2014)

Sweet Satisfaction - Thirty-Two

Thirty-Two

I woke up the next morning wondering where I was. Then the previous nights’ events came surging back into my mind and I abruptly sat up, eyes widening. I distinctly remembered Father dragging me out the church, kicking and screaming. It was inappropriate and childish behaviour but I was frustrated that I could’ve been so naive.

I shifted out of the bed, clothes sticky and rumpled from sleeping in them. A weak sun glowed down on the rosy red apples growing from the trees outside the window. With no spare dress, I smoothed down the wrinkles. I re-pinned my greasy hair into a messy pompadour, the mixture of shell and bone pins sticking out at odd angles. I took a deep breath and made my way downstairs into a silent stupor.

“Morning,” I whispered timidly, a lump forming in my throat. I looked away at Father’s gaze. How could he have used me like that? He helped me kill a man. Turning around, I saw Susanna, Mary and Emma huddled on the bench in the back garden. My stocking-ed feet sunk into the dewy grass.

“…every bullet just slicing and pounding in my head…” I heard Emma sob harder, before Mary gave her a fierce hug, face stricken. There was pure horror in Emma’s round eyes; I had never imagined yesterday’s scenes affecting her.

"That evil, but so, so pow-erful bullet- I can just im-agine it as the last thing Gr-gr-ann-y a-a-nd-” Emma let out a choking gasp.

I stopped in my tracks, clutching my chest. I ran back to the house.

“You’ve killed more people than Carlos?” I knew the answer was ‘yes’, but I had to hear it from Father. I had to hear it that he had killed Emma’s grandmother. Was that the reason she hated me? But why not Mary? Everything in my life at that moment was a whirlpool of confusion.

“You planned my life your whole life. I would be the spoilt little heiress, wedded and bedded, without knowing what happens in the real world.” My voice had a hard, spiteful edge to it.

Father looked up. My anger was flaring and bubbling inside me.

“You kill people… Is it just because you’re angry that Benj-”

“DON’T SPEAK HIS NAME. WE NEVER SPEAK HIS NAME.” I squealed at Father’s roar, leaning against the doorframe, throwing hands up to eyes leaking droplets of almost every emotion.

“You even killed my aunt and uncle.” Mother stood defiantly behind me. Father was at loss.

“1896, remember?” Mother said, with a threatening edge. Father’s jawline tensed, eyes narrowing.

“You left my cousin, my Natalya, an orphan, homeless and she was with child and you’re doing the same to all the families of the people you kill!” Father strode forward and grabbed her wrist.

“So why did you marry me, if it affected you that greatly?” My whole body stiffened – why were all these secrets being revealed now? Father had murdered Mother’s own family?

“Wanted a bit of my new money, did ya? Did ya?” Father snarled, pushing Mother’s arm back as she whimpered.

“You didn’t love me and I didn’t love you.” I gasped as Father pushed her to the wall, pushing her down there. I clutched the edge of the door for support, quivering.

“You know why I needed an heir and I took you on, whore or not and you remind me, now, after what she did to us and our ch-i-ild, of your Natalya?”

“Father stop it, you’re scaring me,” I screeched, “What did this Natalya do to me or Mary or-” He flashed round, pure ire flaming in eyes as his hand swiped across my cheek with a sickening slap, even harder than Emma’s one.

This made my whole head so dizzy that I staggered back, face burning like fire from the hard edge smashing into it. I felt arms around, supporting me, as everything went black.