Sweet Satisfaction (Purple UGC Winner 2014)

Sweet Satisfaction - Seventy-Nine

Seventy-Nine

Eastbourne, Sussex, England

Three hours previously, I had climbed through the hole and jumped down onto the scratchy stone wall. Emma had taken Minnie from me, and we slowly walked towards an automobile where the others were sitting, blinking and looking around them with glazed eyes. It was a little different to my Father’s, which was more buggy-style, and this had a canopy/compartment contraption over it, but no windows. I didn’t know whose it was. I didn’t care.

The fresh air hit me like a sharp slap. I collapsed into one of the maroon leather seats. My body ached all over, stiff and numb.

Father climbed into the driver’s seat. Home. I wanted to go home. I wanted to sleep, to forget the pain that tore at me inside. Natalya jumped down from the wall. She had been helping everyone clamber through. She swallowed, swaying a little.

“They didn’t make it.”

Emma, Natalya, Father, Rose, Bobby, Susanna, Anastasia. King. Alice. King and Alice. Beside me Rose started quivering.

“No,” Father murmured, “Not King. H-h-he’s m-m-y Father.” Natalya clambered in and seated herself beside him.

“He wanted to stay with Isabella.” Father rose up, as if he was about to run back inside and retrieve them.

“Albert. He put the planks back. There’s nothing you can do. He’s dead.” For the first time in my life, I saw my Father cry.

*****

We drove into the night. None of us knew what was going to become of us, but I don’t think anyone cared. We were all linked together, by this fateful inheritance. I don’t think any of us knew what to do.

Emma and I tried to comfort a howling Anastasia. How cruel for her - reunited with her estranged husband, for him to be taken from her, because he loved his niece better. I had lost my real grandfather. We had. Me and Emma. Emma was my sister. Our other sisters, wrapped in merely but blankets, were sniffling quietly in our aching arms. When we finally returned to civilisation, they would have to be found a wet nurse. They were motherless. I couldn’t comprehend all of this. I was too drained to think properly. I didn’t care that Alice was dead, and that Rose was screaming. 

The wind whipped our hair backwards and a tangled ribbon of coco and coal linked Emma and I together. Bobby, and Susanna, my sister’s murderess, sat huddled on the floor at our feet, clutching the sides as the automobile bumped along the desolate roads. I couldn’t even think about them. The stars were out; it was dark. I didn’t know what day it was. I had lost track of all time. I had lost everything I knew.

My fingers had turned into icicles, and tears were still sliding down my cheeks. I still couldn’t understand that fact that my mother, Mary, baby sister and grandfather were all dead. What if someone came across the hut? Were we going to go back and retrieve their corpses, so they could have a proper burial and rest in peace? My teeth chattered. My feet were soaked. The journey stretched on for eternity. We were driving into no-where.

“Emma,” I whispered, “Take Annabel with you when you go back to Russia. Mary named her. I want you to have some of Mary left.” Emma squeezed my hand.

“I’m staying here with you.”

*****

The automobile ascended up a large hill. I peered groggily in the dark. The sea crashed in turbulent, torrential waves, in the not-so-far distance. I could sniff the salty stench, although it clung to me all over anyway, weighing down my grubby skirt. My wobbly legs carried me out of the automobile, as it had stopped. Where were we? I realised I didn’t care.

“This is Beachy Head.” I heard Susanna say to Bobby as we all stood around, letting the wind and the cold bite into us. Father and Natalya remained talking in the automobile, within earshot.

“You’ve always wanted to see me dead, haven’t you?” Father said. I watched Natalya nod slowly. Emma and I exchanged alarmed looks.

“What if I were to say I was going to kill myself right now?”

“Father, no!” I cried. Then I blinked. Emma gasped. Father and Natalya were kissing.

My mouth went dry. He was kissing her, when Mother had just died? Or was he in love with Natalya all this time? Emma’s fingers entwined with mine, and I realised this was the perfect end to all her dreams. It was completely dark, but we could see Natalya’s eyes like luminous candles, glowing with a hate so strong it was actually love. Father broke away.

“What if I were to say I was going to kill myself right now, and take you with me?”

“What?” Natalya blinked. I couldn’t see his expression, or what was happening, my heart raced and Emma clutched my hand tighter. We both froze. Natalya screamed.

“Albert, no!”

Father must have put his foot on the accelerator. The automobile shot along the grass and left the ground. It hovered in the air. Then it plummeted. Down. Down into the sea.