Ice Cold (TomTord)

27. Was it a mistake..?

Tom's POV:

After a while, we pulled away from the hug and I blushed. "S-sorry about that, Tom if it suprised you." He said and looked away, his face slightly red.

I stayed silent for a while and then smirked at him. 'He took me by suprise, huh? Well, I'll show him how does it feel like.' I thought to myself. Tord just looked at me, confused. "Uhh, Tom? What are you doing?" He asked.

I leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. He completly froze. I giggled and took another paper. I started drawing a new picture and acted like nothing happened. Tord just sat there, his face red and he didn't move.

I smiled to myself. After a while, he finally snapped out of it and took a new paper as well. I couldn't see what he was drawing and I focused on my picture.

I blushed. I didn't know, why was I drawing it, but I was drawing myself and Tord...kissing. I kept smiling and blushing. I completly forgot that Tord was sitting right next to me and that could see the picture perfectly.

After a while, I felt someone staring. I brushed it off at first, but the feeling didn't go away. I sighed quietly and looked over at Tord. His eye was wide open, his whole face was dark shade of red and he was staring at my picture. It then hit me.

My 'eyes' widened as well and we both stared at each other. I was blushing madly. I snapped out of it. "Uhh, T-T-Tord! I-I can explain! I-" I was cut off by him putting his hand on my mouth. After a while, he removed it.

I was shaking slightly. 'Oh my god, he found out! He's gonna hate me so much! I-I don't want to lose him...' I thought to myself. Tord relaxed a little. He scooted is chair closer to me, making my heart almost explode.

He leaned closer and was now really close to my face. I didn't know what to do or say so I just stared. He then closed his eye and pulled me closer. I could feel his lips meet my lips. He...was...kissing me..?

I was completly shocked while he seemed to relax. I then after a while snapped out of it and started to kiss him back. His lips were soft and sweet. I closed my 'eyes' and melted into the kiss. It felt like a dream come true.

We pulled away after a few minutes, both panting and our faces red. I smiled at him softly and he returned the smile.

I then pulled him into a hug. He hugged back. "I love you, Tord..." I said in a soft voice, still smiling. "I love you too, Tom..." He answered.

I was happy. Really happy. I never really knew that I loved him that much, but now...I can see it... It felt nice. We pulled away from the hug.

"Hey, I'm gonna make some food, we need to work on your eating problems." I said and got up. His smile faded and he looked down. "...Okay." He said. I petted his hair. "I know it's hard on you, but we're all here for you and we're going to help you!" I said.

He looked up and me and smiled again. He nodded. I smiled back, glad that he actually accepted it. It was cold outside so I decided to make some soup. I took Tord's plate and placed it in front of him. He thanked me.

"Do you think you can do this?" I asked him. He sighed and nodded slowly. I rubbed his back, trying to make it easier for him. He took the spoon and started slowly and carefully eat the soup. He looked pretty scared, but after a while he actually seemed to calm down and ate it all.

"Good job, Tordie!" I said and smiled at him. He blushed slightly and smiled back. "Thanks... It was actually not that bad... But I think I'll go to sleep now, I'm kinda tired." He said. I nodded. "Alright. Goodnight!" I said.

He took his crutches and started walking towards his room. Before that, he looked at me and gave me a soft kiss on my cheek. "Goodnight, Tommie." He said and went into his room.

Tord's POV:

I put down my crutches and layed on my bed. I sighed happily. 'He loves me... He really does...' I thought to myself and kept smiling.

Hah, He DoeSn'T loVe You!
...You...
Me... I am JuSt tElLinG tHe tRutH.
No, you're lying...
Am I? Why WoUld He LovE a FreAk LikE yOu?

I almost started crying. Those words really hurt. 'No, that's not possible, he loves me... I think...' I started thinking about it. Maybe the nightmare was right. I mean, I'm a mess. I was a possesed creature, who almost killed his friends!

An unloved freak, who's hurting himself. A heartless monster, who hates himself... A depressed Commie, who wants to...kill himself...

I started sobbing softly. I nuzzled my head in the pillow and cried quietly to myself. But then I thought about something...

But, if he doesn't love me, then why would he kiss back and tell me that he loves me?
BecAuSe hE wAntS tO seE yOu sUfFer! He wAnTs tO bReaK yOu!
...But how do you know that?
I caN sEe iT.
...That hurts...
TruTh OftEn HurTs. ThaT's Why PeOplE lIe.

I put my hand on my heart. It was beating fast. My face was hot...and wet? Tears again... I was crying again. I sobbed a few times and wiped them off.

I pulled the covers over me and I hid my face in my hands. 'Maybe it's right... He really doesn't love me... Maybe he really wants to see me suffer. Maybe he wants to make me think he loves me and then when I feel happy, he's gonna break me...' I thought.

I looked under my bed and took out my knife... My only real friend... He's always there for me... I rolled my sleeve and stared at my cuts.

Some of them were healed, some of them were not. I decided to do something more than just a few cuts... I started...drawing... I drew a heart, broken heart. Blood was quickly coming out of my arm.

I sighed and hid my knife. I found some tissues on the table and wiped the blood off. I rolled down my sleeve when I heard a knock on the door. 'Tom...' I thought and closed my eyes and pretended that I was sleeping.

He opened the door quietly. After a while of silence, he closed it again. I actually started to feel dizzy and ended up passing out. 'Was it a mistake...? To love Tom? To date him? Or does he really just want to break me..?'