One Day You Will Look Back And Laugh

Chapter 5

It's been two month since Stephan and I  started sending letters to each other. He has been a real gem. It was really nice conversing with him, we don't have a lot in common but we were still able to talk to each other about almost anything.

His letters do make the end of my week a little better. So I look forward to them every week. Cheesy? Maybe a little.

We don't have a lot in common but we could talk (or should I say write) to each other about anything and everything. He was so optimistic and supportive of everything I told him about and I tried my best to be the same for him. We talked over the phone once. It was something I didn't expect.

His brother actually studied in my university, and was waiting at the gate of the university for me. He introduced himself to me and I was expecting it to end there but then he told me to follow him and began to start walking very fast, I didn't have time to react or refuse, I had to run after him confused. He took a taxi and told me to get in, I did, after a lot of persuasion, then he got in. He didn't speak much and did not smile either. The ride was very awkward but the silence was welcomed. It was only when we got down that I realise that he took me to a restaurant. A REASTURANT !!! I have never  been to one and it looked so fancy and expensive. "Let's go in." He said and started walking towards the doors very casually. Again, I had to run after him. He found a place to seat and told me to order whatever I wanted. I kept declining, he wouldn't take no for an answer. At this point I was wondering what he wanted and how he knew my schedule, the fact that I didn't have any work to do till later that night was not an information most people knew. He then took out his phone and it looked like he was calling someone. While it was ringing, he passed the phone to me and I hesitantly took it, I looked at the caller ID and saw "Rasin" written there.

What??

The call picked up and I suddenly came face to face with
"Stephan!!??"

Apparently his brother owed him something  and so Stephan told him to take me out then whatever he owed him would be paid, or thats what he told me. We talked so much that day, about anything and everything. I felt bad for taking so long but apparently the place was booked by the brother.

I told him that I didn't know how family was rich. He laughed and said that he doesn't like telling people about the wealth of his family. After we got to talk, I kept the phone and his brother dropped me off to my job. I thanked him but he barely gave me a glance. My job went by really fast too. In the evenings I have to give tuition to two kids, they both require ASL and because of my morning bakery job, Maryanne had everyone know basic ASL to be able to communicate with anyone that needed, just in case. I taught them and headed home for the day. To me it felt as thoufh the day ended too fast.

I remembered the day's conversation again. He was still the same. He was goofy and flirty. He talked about how tough collage was but that he would get through it. He even said I was the reason he wanted to finish collage fast.

Hahah .... Words of a kid.
You have a soft spot for him don't you? Be careful.

Though, as I was laying awake on the bed, his face came back to haunt me in full detail. His eyes had huge bags under them, though he did try to conceal with glasses. He looked so much thinner, his voice sounded tired and so were his eyes.

His smile was hollow. He must really be tired. Collage is taxing, I know that much at least and I heard philosophy was really hard. I hope he doesn't over stress himself. He needs to rest up.

With all these thoughts I soon fell into a dreamless sleep.

Something to note was that my nightmares suddenly stopped after receiving his letter that day. I didn't have the best sleep but I was able to sleep through the night. I think the flower he sent has something to do with it. It smells heavenly but only at night, during the day it was just like a weed. I remember a flower like this from my village, it blooms only at night and we called it "Queen of the Night". But this looked nothing like it and it smells so much more  beautiful.

Strange. But I'm not one to complain about being able to sleep more. If I can sleep longer then I'm just grateful and planning to savour it for as long as it lasts. My mood had improved too. Guess lack of sleep really does take a toil on your body-physically, emotionally and mentally.

Everyone around me seemed to notice, they said that I was 'glowing' and all I needed now was to smile more often then I might be 'pretty'. I dont really care for things like that. But what surprised me was that  I actually began to enjoy my jobs and classes. Ok not the last one but the job part, sure.

I was getting more work done. My paintings were bought more often, I could execute my jobs properly and actually talk decently to people around me. The whole time I was thinking that this was too good to be true and any moment I would wake up back to my grey life but that didn't happen.

People kept telling me that I was in love but I don't think it is. I do value Stephan but I don't think I love him. Maybe a good friend.

Nothing more than that.

But this really wasn't meant to last because after the phone call no letter came that week, or the next or the week after that.

It's been four weeks. I sent multiple letters again but no reply. I thought of talking to his brother but his brother already graduated by this time and was somewhere else, I think another country for some further studies. He was ahead of me already and I didn't know their address.

I started waking up in the middle of the night from a horrible nightmare but once I'm awake, I forget what it was. It felt so important but nothing comes. There is a familiarity in the nightmares that come this time but I still don't remember them. I remember that they are the same but what were they ?

I panicked. I didn't want to be cut off from Stephan. For some reason my nightmares were reducing. My life had begun to feel normal. I was becoming normal. I...

Selfish, much? You didn't even give him the time of day and now you are like this?

Yeah, since when did you become so self centred. Your pathetic.

A coward.

Yeah. That's true. Stephan owes me nothing yet he still took the time to be with me. If he decides to suddenly stop I don't think I would mind it. Correction. I should not mind it.

Aren't I despicable?

I was just accepting everything when my doorbell rang. I went to open the door and a letter was at my doorstep.

It was from Stephan.

I kept the letter aside and looked out my window. The rain had just begun. Few, heavy droplets hit the ground and slowly got heavier as the time goes by. A  smile was coming on my face  and just kept getting wider as I opened my door and ran out into the pouring rain, I kept running until I couldn't anymore. I was soaked from head to toe. But I didn't care.

I kept running. I didn't even know for how long. I ran and just kept running. That didn't stop the tears though.

I left the letter on my window still, right next to the wilted flower. My dead Queen of the Night.