Paperheart

beat 17

Truth or Dare: His Dare

She doesn't love me anymore.

That's what I know.

She may not say it but I can feel it.

Maybe one of these days, she will probably break up with me. I'm scared and I don't want that to happen.

I can't lose her. I don't want to lose her. But no matter how hard I try to hold her, she keeps on slipping away from my grasp.

I always wonder where did it go wrong?

I love her. I love her so much that I'm willing to pretend that everything is fine even if it's not.

But what can I do if she doesn't love me anymore?

What can I do if she's unhappy with me?

I watched her sitting outside the convenience store, hugging herself due to the cold breeze. I can't help but smile while watching her from afar. She looked like a lost kitten. My kitten.

Watching her like this gives me a nostalgic feeling. It feels like the first time I saw her seven years ago. The first time I laid my eyes on her. I have loved her since that day. I love her smiles, her carefree laugh and even her frowns. I love all of her- her flaws and imperfections.

If only I could make her stay. If only I could keep her in my arms forever.

I sighed.

Let's meet tomorrow. Same place and time.

That was her first text after a month of ignoring me. I was supposed to be happy. Because she finally had time to be with me.

I should be happy. But I can't. Because that was the moment I knew...

I walked towards her and hugged her from the back. I missed hugging her. I missed her back. I missed her hair. God knows how much I missed her. So bad.

"I'm sorry. Did you wait for too long? Hmm?" I inhaled her sweet scent. I badly want to kiss her. Damn!

"No," she blinked thrice. She's lying. I know her so well. She's lying whenever she's blinking three times.

"I promise I won't be late again, next time," I murmured and kissed her cheeks before we went inside the convenience store.

Just like before, we ate, talked and laughed. I want to stop the time, so I can be with her a little longer. I want to spend more time with her.

Because after this night, everything will never be the same like they were before.

"Let's play," I smiled as I started spinning the empty bottle on the table. It stopped, pointing at her.

"Truth or dare?" I asked.

"Hmmm... You made me do something embarrassing the last time I chose dare, so truth," she chuckled. God! Even her chuckle makes me crazy. How am I supposed to let her go?

I smiled and inhaled sharply. I already made up my mind.

"Do you still love me?"

She was taken aback. She thought I didn't know. She really thought I didn't know anything.

I may be dumb but I'm not numb.

I looked directly at her eyes. I want to know. I want to know if there's still a chance. That maybe we can still fix this... maybe we can still make this work.

"I-I... I'm sorry."

That's it. She doesn't need to say those words. Because I already know.

I knew it eversince she started avoiding me and acted cold towards me. Since she started ignoring my texts and calls. Since she started making excuses whenever I tried to go out with her.

It was clear. She wanted me to hate her.

But I can't. How can I hate her when I love her so much? I love her so much that I'm willing to set her free. I want her to be happy. Even if it will break me.

I nodded and smiled. I want her to know that I'm okay. That I understand her.

So I started spinning the empty bottle on the table, and pretended like nothing happened. Because that's what I'm good at. Pretending. After a minute or so, it stopped spinning and landed at her again.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

I stared at her intently. I want to memorize her beautiful face.

She looked away. I know she's hurting too. And I don't want her to suffer anymore. I held her face and made her look at my eyes. Tears started brimming at my eyes.

I want her to know that I love her. I still love her. Even if she doesn't love me anymore.

I held her hand and gently squeezed it. How I wish I could hold her hand a little longer. I tried to smile at her.

"I dare you to break up with me," I said, and slowly, let go of her hand.