Toxic lies - OumaSai

~The Horrid truth~

•Kokichi's POV•

I'm Kokichi Ouma, Ultimate supreme leader. I'm actually a pretty big liar believe it or not. 'But, I do it for everyone's sake. 'But is that true? Am I lying to myself?' I ask myself that question all the time. All the damn time. It's just..I lie so much I sometimes can't tell if I'm lying myself. Whatever. I just hide my emotions from everyone; plus, it's not like anyone would notice or care. Nobody ever does. Nobody ever cares. Never.

~~Time Skip~~

I was in my dorm. It was quite. Real quiet. I mean, it was the middle of the night so of corse it would be so quiet. God, I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm just rambling..

I got up from out of my bed and headed to the bathroom to wash my face. Even though it was 2:37 in the morning I really didn't want to sleep. I just can't stand the nightmares I get. There just...horrible.

"Haaaa" I yawned. 'Damn, I'm so tired..' I walked over to my bed and set down. I was trying to clear my mind, stop thinking. I just..don't wanna be here. I slowly got up off the bed and moved to my desk. I went in the draw of the desk and pulled out a small silver pocket knife.

I cut myself all the time, so..it's not like it hurts anymore. Actually, the more I cut, the more I forget my problems, the more I can forget about how everyone hates me, how I'm nothing to everyone. Yeah, I'll admit, it hurts. It hurts real bad knowing I have nobody; nobody in the messed up world. I hate it. Honestly the only thing I want is for at least one person to love me...hell, even just like me is fine! God...hell..I just..can't. I can't do it.

I brung the knife up to my left arm, the sharp part of the blade facing down about to pierce my skin.
I cut more then once. I cut over, and over, and over, and over until I was satisfied and forgot at least a little bit of my troubles.

After my 'cutting session', I put my pajama sleeve down to cover my arm. I then got into my bed, staring up at my boring blank white ceiling. I finally closed my eyes and tried falling asleep. I tried to think of anything that wouldn't resolve in me having a nightmare.

...Lets just say...it didn't work..

A/N; yeeeeah, so I actually planned on having this chapter be longer and not so depressing. But I love angst so I'm sorry ^^" Anywho, I hope you guys enjoyed this part. I'll be making a new part in two days! In a week at the most part though- cause like, sometimes I get depressed myself and I lose inspiration;;  but eeehhh, have a good day or night to whoever's reading this!!

-yours truly, Mikaela.