Toxic lies - OumaSai

support.

"Shuichi.. please... save your tears, don't cry over this p-"

Shuichi embraced Kokichi in a tight hug.

"Kokichi, please, think about your decisions more often. don't be so reckless and destructive. if you needed help, or still need help, I'm always here for you, even if you don't want the help, I'm still going to help you. no matter what."

the taller male held the smaller boy in his arms, watching as he let Kokichi let out his tears of pain onto his shoulder.

"thank you, Shuichi."

Kokichi hugged Shuichi tighter then before and didn't let go for awhile.

____________________________

--------------------

_____________

--------

Kokichi and Shuichi ended up sleeping together for the whole night.

pathetic. you really believe him? worthless.

I hate these thoughts. why wont they just go away?? why...

...........

......

...

"Shuichi?" I called out for him, hoping he wouldn't be asleep.

lucky me, he was sleeping.

why are you listening to him? you sure are gullible, huh?

"shut up."

why should I? you know he wouldn't do anything to help you anyways.

"lies."

wanna bet? how would he help you anyways? he wouldn't know where to begin! the fact that you still have hope in him is so funny to me! what's up with you, huh? you never trust anyone, never let anyone, see your true feelings. what makes you think he's not just using you? you're just naïve.

"....why do I have to think like this.. WHY do I have to do this to myself?? I cant, ignore the voice, right? I cant... I.."

I got out of bed carefully, to my draw.

"I hate it, I hate it all.."

.............................

........................

..................

............

........

....

blood red hands. bloody knife. bloody wrists.

Kokichi had done it again, he had tried cutting his problems away again. he thought he would never do it again. lies. he did.

________________

-----------

________

-----

"Kokichi? is that you?"

Kokichi didn't have an expression on his face. it was... blank?

"Kokichi, are you alright?" I got up out of bet and went to where he was standing.

"Kokichi..."

he was just standing there, blank expression, looking at his wrists.

"Shuichi... I stained the floor, it'll be hard to clean out" he said, still with a blank expression.

I ran over to him.

"Kokichi?? are you an idiot?? why would you do that!! you could've woken me up, you could've prevented this whole thing... why Kokichi, why? this wasn't necessary!" I cried out, trying to understand my loved one. why would he slit his wrists? he could've....

"I'm sorry Shuichi, I'm just a big disappointment, huh? I know... I couldn't do one task you asked me to do. I'm so worthless, its not funny. don't say I'm not, because I know that'd be a lie. I know it would. my head keeps messing with me. I give in because I'm weak, worthless, and pathetic scum. I'm so sorry Shuichi. you don't have to deal with me any longer, if you'd like to leave, you can. id understand!! ill be fine. okay?"

"Kokichi, let me help you. you aren't worthless, nor pathetic scum. don't listen to those damn voices, because they're wrong! Kokichi, they're wrong!!"

"how am I supposed to know that?"

"you don't have to know anything, just believe in yourself. you'll get through it. you're strong, I know you are! so just.. hang in there a little longer okay?"

"anything for you, Shuichi. thank you again, for everything."

im sorry this chapter is so short!!! ill work on it more later!! thanks for hanging in there!

word count: 600

-signing off, mikaela