high score ✩ muke

0.2 - never gonna happen

two; never gonna happen

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"mikey, take these," mr. clifford sat down across the table from his 13-year-old son, a small orange bottle of pills in front of him. "one in the morning when you wake up, one in the evening before bed."

michael stared at the wall behind his mother's head. "i'm not depressed."

mrs. clifford scoffed at him, swatting her hand in the air as a way of rejecting her son's words. "sweetie, don't be ridiculous. you waste all your time in your room or who knows where, playing stupid games. you don't talk to anyone. we just want to help."

"i'm not depressed," he repeated, but like the first time, his words died in the air.

-

when michael's alarm clock rang, he simply groaned and went back to sleep. in his half-asleep state he imagined sleeping through his first day of school. that is, until his mother knocked on the bedroom door. "michael, you cannot be late for school!"

"nobody cares if i skip school," michael grudgingly thought to himself, but got up anyway. he stretched his back until it gave a satisfying crack, then rushed to his closet to begin the morning routine.

after getting dressed and trying to control his hair at least a little, he brushed his teeth before looking in the mirror. he didn't like the face staring back at him, and after a few seconds he looked away. his hair was in all different directions, his eyes were a mix of green and brown, and his lips were too swollen and pink for a normal 16-year-old boy. and jane wonders why i don't like the company of other people, he thought. how could others enjoy his company when he didn't even enjoy his own company?

sighing, he left the bathroom, tired of looking at himself. just as he was leaving, he kissed his mother's cheek. she gave him a forced smile, raising his medicine in the air. as if i could forget that shit, he mentally said to her.

-

after (forcibly) swallowing his pill, he tossed his backpack on his shoulder, grabbed his skateboard and left.

everyone at school saw michael as a nerd because any semblance of a social life he had was devoured by technology. but michael didn't see himself as a nerd. he wore t-shirts of his favorite bands every day, skateboarded, and playing every video game known to man. no big deal.

all of this didn't seem valid enough to call him a nerd. but maybe it was because he only had two friends. or maybe because he was aiming for an A+ in all his classes. he had failed freshman math out of pure laziness, and his parents' reaction was like a slap in the face. michael couldn't chance his console being taken away again. so from that day on, michael worked very hard in every subject.

maryland's cold air hit his cheeks, turning his whole face magenta. when the school was in sight, he picked up his board and walked the rest of the way.

michael never thought he'd be happy to go to school, but hell he was grateful for the heating inside. he was surrounded by people who didn't pay him any attention, like he was alone in the room. he was shoved around by a few students rushing to finish their summer assignments.

finally finding his locker, michael entered the combination and opened the little door. he quickly put his skateboard inside before something at the end of the hall caught his attention.

michael saw a large, rowdy group of people crowd around him, both boys and girls trying to get his attention. michael felt his breath catch in his throat, as he tilted his head back in laughter, a hand resting on the waist of a cheerleader.

luke fucking hemmings.

luke hemmings, the guy who everyone was in love with. luke hemmings, the star player on the hockey team. luke hemmings, michael's crush since middle school. luke hemmings, who didn't even know michael existed on the same planet as he did.

luke was cheekily playing with the edge of the cheerleader girl's skirt, smirking when she got antsy. in that one moment, heart thudding, michael imagined himself wearing a skirt. luke touching him that way.

luke had never paid any attention to michael, and michael had never really paid any attention to luke either. except when all he could think about was soft blonde hair and vivid blue eyes and wow luke hemmings is such a cute boy jesus christ. so basically, michael always thought about him, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise.

michael blushed at his own thoughts when a hand landed abruptly on his shoulder. he turned and saw calum and ashton, pleased looks on both their faces. "go talk to him!" calum urged, giving a slight push to michael's shy frame.

michael's face grew redder, and he tried to think of a reasonable response. "go talk to him? and say what exactly?"

"oh hello, luke, you've never noticed me in your whole life but i think we should bang," calum raised his eyebrow at the cherry-hued boy. "i think that would do it."

michael laughed out loud, slammed his locker shut and turned to him. "it's never gonna happen, cal."

"you don't know that," ashton frowned, exchanging a look with calum.

michael wouldn't get upset, he didn't want pity, and he certainly didn't want encouragement. it made him feel weak. "yes, i do know that, and i accepted it long ago. it'll never happen."

and with that, michael went to class.