I don't really have a plan now. I just left the house because I was angry but saying the truth, I don't know where I can go. I checked the pockets from my jacket, at least I have the headphones. I plugged them and I played the first song in the playlist and put the phone back in my pocket. The sky is clear and I can see the sunset.
I finally passed through the big black gates secured by two guardians. They saw me crying, fuck.
"Mister Jimin.. everything is good?" one of them asked me and i took off my headphones.
"Yeah, yes, of course.. everything is.. perfect" Good job, Jimin. They will believe you for sure.
"But do you know where mister Jungkook went?"
"I don't know "
"Are you going somewhere? Do you want to call the driver?" the man insisted.
I kept my head down watching the ground. I don't know what to do or where to go, I don't want the see the people, I am sure i disappointed them and they are sad. I don't have the courage to look them in the eyes and told them BTS is not a band anymore."I don't know either " I answered with a low voice "I want to go home"
"In Busan, mister?"
"Uhm.. yes Busan. Is that possible?"
"Yes.. it is. Just let me call the driver."
I forced a little smile and nodded. I took a sit on the border waiting the driver. I didn't put the headphones back in the ears, I just stayed there, with my elbows on my knees, watchig an ant movind from here tho there. "He'll be here in 5 minutes" the man told me and then went back to the other man.
What am I doing with my life now? I a going back in Busan. I miss my mother, my father, my brother.. I haven't seen them for a while. Since I moved in Seoul I haven't too much time to go back home to them. The came here at concerts, or at the ones in Busan, but just a little wave and that's it. I need a break from everything. No one has to know where I am or what I am doing.. and after I'll figure out what I have to do, I'll let them know.
The driver came to pick me and now I am on my way to my home town. The highway is free because is already night. I like the driver because he's driving fast and I can arrive home. I didn't call my mother to tell I am coming, if I call her, I will probably start to cry. She tried to contact me a few times but I couldn't answer. I know I disappointed her too.
I'm looking through the window. The moon is so big and white this night. I can see a lot of stars shining so bright.. I guess mine isn't there anymore.
I closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling. They are already red and I am so tired. 300 kilometers until I'll be in home..
Fearfully we stepped on the stage. Is our first live show and we must show the best of us today.3 years of trainings weren't for nothing. A bunch of fans were there screaming our names, with placards and shirts with our faces and logo. I stayed there, having no clue what to do, but..they are here to see us, so let the show begin.
"Hello, my name is Park Jimin and I am the leader of this group!"
"Hello everybody! I am Jung Hoseok, I am the sun of the group!"
"Hey guys, I am Jeon Jungkook and I am the maknae!"
And the award for the Album of the Year goes to... Bangtan Sonyeondan!
The award for the best coreography goes to... Bangtan Sonyeondan!
MNet Asian Award
Radio Disney Music Award
Best Music Video Award
Seoul Music Award
Golden Disc
Army! This is only the beggining! This is for you and there will be much more in the future! Thank you very much for loving and supporting us!
Park Jimin! Park Jimin! Park Jimin!
"What is your name, sweety?"
"My name is Areum" she smiled shyly
"You're really.. Areum" I smiled widely. "So.. for Areum, thank you for being part of ARMY! Park Jimin"
"Thank you, oppa~! " she waved to me and wanted to go to Jungkook but she stopped " Mister Jimin?" I looked at her confused. "You guys.. can't realise how much happiness are giving to us.. You are helping us to pass through hard times. You guys, made me cry everytime you took the mic in your hands and started to sing. I support you in everything, I am here for good and bad times, I am sure is not just me who think this. You helped a generation, made them laugh and cry and you created a new language, a language that is understood by the fans all around the world. Jimin..please.. don't let us sink in the reality."
I tear fell on my cheek. I couldn't say a thing but I mimed "I promise" to her.
"Mister Jimin?" I feel a hand rubbing mine. I opened my eyes realising I have tears in my eyes. "Do you feel fine?" the driver asked me. The door of the car is opeden and I feel the cold air coming from outside, drying the tears on my face . I nodded. "We arrived." he opened the door widely and I saw my house. The lights are still on.. I am sure I want to go in?I thanked the driver for bringing me here, bowed a few times, and he left.
I am in the front of the door. I knocked two time, I doubt someone heard. I waited a few seconds then made a step back and turned around, I guess is not the time to come back home yet.
"Jimin?" I heard a feminine voice.
Mother?
I turned back to see her standing in front of the door with a concerned face. I wasn't able to go to her, so I just stayed stright . I looked her in the eyes, but I can't see her properly because my eyes are flooded with tears. She came runing to me and hugged me so tight. This is what I needed now.
She is the only one who can tell me now everything will be fine and I will believe her.
She is the only one who supported me when nobody gave me a chance.
She is the only one who answered my calls in the middle of the night when I had panic attacks .
Mother.. I am sorry for disappointing you.
I cried on her shoulder. I fell her hand moving on my back and whispering me "It's ok Jiminie, you are home now."
