thunderstruck | book #2 | discontinued

X X X I I I

Maksim gasped for breath as he found the nearest and most narrow alleyway that he could. He collapsed into the rubble surrounding him, into filled bin bags and dirt, his hands clutching at anything they could find and then burning it until the ash slipped through his fingers. The darkness had stolen him again and now it was bursting out of him like electricity, igniting his whole body with pain. He writhed around, tears slipping from his eyes.

He was not thinking about what was happening to him now. He was thinking about her, about the way she had looked when had been freed from the police station. She thought it was her fault, not knowing that it was his entirely. He'd had no choice but to walk away. He had resisted his magic for too long, and now it was flowing from him uncontrollably. He couldn't bear to hurt her. He couldn't bear to taint her with his shadows.

He stretched his legs out in front of him, kicking the wall until his foot ached. Heat licked his face and he opened his eyes, realising that he had set fire to the litter. The alley was filling with smoke, the stench of something rotten stinging Maksim's nostrils.

"No," he whispered in dread, looking down at his hands. The magic had stopped now but the evidence still lay in the soot caking his palms. It was worse than ever. He had tried to ignore it before but the embers in front of him forced him to acknowledge the truth; his magic was turning dark. He was like his siblings, like his mother, and he had no choice in any of it. He was becoming a monster.

He pulled himself up shakily, his body heavy with fatigue now that he was no longer filled with foreign energy. He held out his blackened hands in front of the flames and closed his eyes, trying to find the will to perform an extinguishing spell. Nothing happened. There was no tingle in his fingertips, no rush through his veins. His magic wasn't working and the fire was only spreading.

He tried again, his head feeling as though it might burst from the force of his attempt. Still there was nothing. The flames danced, mocking him, and he shouted an incoherent curse, kicking the wall again.

Someone cleared their throat behind him and he turned, finding a boy who looked vaguely familiar staring at him curiously.

"Everything alright?" he asked as though there was not a fire blazing behind him.

Maksim pursed his lips, eyeing the boy. He had fair hair and stood with a constant slouch, his arms hanging by his sides awkwardly. Maksim remembered him then; he remembered when those arms had been around Remy on the beach. Adam, Remy had called him. He rolled his eyes, his mouth curling upwards in content as the same jealousy he'd had once before arose within him. "Wonderful, thank you."

"You're him, aren't you?" The boy stepped forward, choking slightly on the smoke. "You're the wizard guy."

He did not have the energy to correct him. "And you are the mortal boy. While I would love to stand in a smelly alleyway and bond with you whilst trying not to choke, I have far pressing matters to attend to; like, for instance, how it is that you mortals extinguish fires. Any clue?" 

Adam gazed at him open-mouthed, causing Maksim to sigh impatiently.

"Better yet, why don't you put this out for me and I will be eternally in your debt. I would say it was nice to meet you but it wasn't, really."

Maksim marched past the boy, careful all the while to hide his hands. He stopped only when the mortal boy spoke.

"She deserves better, you know."

Maksim turned expectantly. Adam looked uncomfortable in the burning alleyway, scratching his head as though trying to figure out how to solve the problem.

"She'd do anything for you and you just leave her here like she doesn't matter."

On another occasion, Maksim would have given a snarky reply or a glare cold enough to cut into the stupid little mortal, but he had not the energy now. Instead, he simply looked tiredly at him, nodding.

"And I suppose you could do a better job? You do not know her the way I do. You could not ever..." He stopped himself before he said it: love her the way that I love her. "You cannot give her what she wants any more than I can."

Adam sighed, his eyes falling to the chaos in front of him. Smoke was crawling across his body, creating a wall between the two of them.

"Maybe not," he said, "but at least I know how to clean up my own messes. I thought you were supposed to have magic."

Maksim wished he could argue, but he knew that it was true. He was making an awful lot of messes recently. His eyes fell to his feet, half-ashamed and half-uninterested.

"So did I."

He did not elaborate any more, instead walking away before he could be followed.

* * *

The portal was a turbulent sea of purples and blues in front of Maksim. He stepped towards it hesitantly, knowing that he should have already gone through it by now. Still, something was stopping him.

He fiddled with the ring on his thumb, the one he had thought he had lost until Remy had given it to him. He had known then that she mattered more than a mortal girl should. He had always known.

There was a weight on his heart that had been growing since he had left her here, and it was unbearable now knowing that he had hurt her again. He couldn't just leave her, unknowing when he would see her again.

He pushed the wheelie bin in front of the portal again to conceal it, wiping his hands down on his pants. They were still burning, so much so that it felt as though his skin was blistering the way it had at Nil Lake. He stopped again, looking at the now hidden portal. He shouldn't see her, not when he was like this, not when every nerve in his body was prickling with heat.

No. I would never hurt her, he told himself. No amount of darkness would cause him to do that.

He backed away from the portal before he could change his mind again, inhaling shakily before he made his way back to the apartments. He would not be content until he saw her again, and he was surer of that than anything in his shattered state.

She would chase the darkness away.

[AN: sorry for not updating sooner!! honestly England is having a heatwave and I lost all motivation to do anything but sit in the garden with a book lol

ok real talk I feel like this book is flopping. it's taking me ages to get to the main drama so this book is going to be twice as long as the first (if I ever even get that far) and I know where I need to go but I don't know how to get there and I don't know what will happen when I do (plan ya book kids) so at the minute i'm really struggling and idk half of me wants to stick it out because I love writing it so much but the other half of me is so ready to write something a little better because I feel like I can do so much better idk like i'm just not good with plots at all and it's getting frustrating and honestly I started this book when I was in college. I've now finished my second year of uni and I've learnt so much and the book is just so cliché you know?? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY I think I'm just ready to come to the end of spellbound so I can move on to better things but that's not going to happen anytime soon because I'm nowhere near finished and I absolutely will not leave this series unfinished. THAT'S THE TEA and any opinions will be welcomed like are you still enjoying the book? is it flopping? tell me! 

anyways thank you for reading sorry for the rant and yes that's it thank you]