thunderstruck | book #2 | discontinued

X I I

"You didn't have to be so harsh. She's trying."

Sarah's head snapped up at Adam's words, loose tendrils of brown hair shifting restlessly around her face as the wind blew. "So this is how it is, is it? Remy's back and that means you want her again. Forget me and what we had before."

"It's not like that, Sarah. I was being a friend. She needed me."

"I needed you," she responded, anger still simmering beneath her calm façade. "I thought that counted for something, but I suppose I only matter to you when Remy isn't here."

Adam scoffed, narrowing his eyes as he looked out at the sea. Sarah could still see Remy's footprints leading away from where they were stood and scowled, remembering how she had seen him with his arm around her. She had never been jealous before, never felt this bitterness that gnawed away at her right down to the bone, and she hated it. More than that, she was tired of it; tired of being so angry, so filled with scorn and distrust. She did not like the person she was becoming.

"Why are you being like this?" he questioned finally, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Sarah, I care about you, but Remy is my friend, too."

"Remy has never been just your friend, and you know it," she spat. "You've been in love with her since she was sixteen. Excuse me if I don't quite trust you when I catch you cosying up to her on the beach when you were supposed to be waiting for me at the police station."

"Just because you're mad at her doesn't mean I have to be." His jaw clenched, and Sarah could tell that he was suppressing the urge to talk—or shout—in the same way she was with him. Adam had always been calm, just as Sarah had before all of this, which is one of the reasons she thought they worked. For years, he had sat back and allowed Remy to take advantage of his feelings for her, and the only time she had ever seen him react was when he'd been angry at her disappearance. She thought it a good idea to remind him of that now.

"You were angry with her before, when you thought she was doing all of this for attention."

"That was before I knew the truth. Before she—"

"What? Used her usual charm to manipulate you, wrap you back around her little finger?"

"Before she had a panic attack!" he yelled finally, turning away from Sarah for a moment as though he could no longer look at her. She watched wordlessly as he scraped his hair back roughly, his knuckles turning white. When he turned back his eyes were still focused on something beyond her. "I understand why you're upset with her, Sarah, and I can't pretend to imagine what you went through, but I didn't realise I had to make a choice between the two of you. I didn't realise that I had to stop caring about her because I care about you. She needed me, and I won't apologise for being there. I won't apologise for listening to her side of the story."

For the first time, Sarah was speechless, and she only hoped she could blame the blush creeping to her cheeks on the cold sea breeze and not the fact that she was embarrassed at her own behaviour.

Adam took Sarah's silence as a signal to continue, and as he did, his blue eyes softened and he took a step closer to Sarah. "You didn't see her. She couldn't breathe, Sarah. She needs a friend just as much as you do, and the only reason she had me was because she didn't have you. I ... I think she's broken. You got what you wanted: you have your life back now. Hers is still in that other place, with the guy she fell for. Only she can't get that back, can she?"

Sarah gulped, her eyes welling with tears. She couldn't help but remember how pale Remy had looked before, how defeated, how tired. Her anger dissipated, replacing itself with pity and a muted kind of annoyance.

"It doesn't change what she did to me." Her voice held less conviction now.

"No, it doesn't. But the girl I have feelings for wouldn't let her friend go through this alone. She's too forgiving for that. She cares too much. Don't tell me I've lost her, please."

Sarah looked up at Adam and licked her lips, her tongue stinging from the salt of the air. She felt a weight in her chest. She had been so looking forward to seeing Adam again, but now she felt like a completely different person, and all her old feelings were locked up somewhere unreachable. "I don't know if you've lost me. I think I just wanted you to be on my side instead of hers, and it's clear you're not."

He shook his head, but she was already treading past him, her feet brushing through uneven sand. He was calling her name, but she didn't turn back. She was too worried she might cry in front of him if she did.

Besides, half of her had hoped he would chase her. When she left the beach alone, she knew that was never going to happen.

AN: sorry this is a short chapter!! it is Christmas break so I'm hoping to update more but so far I've been super busy and I have January exams so I won't have as much time as i'd like :( if I don't update sooner, I wish you all a merry Christmas and a fab 2018! 

also i'd love for you guys to check out my poetry book 'echo' :))